The Algorithm vs. Humanity - Digital Strings: Who’s Really Pulling Them

In this episode of Key Factors Podcast – Real Estate AF, we dive deep into the power of social media and digital media — how it’s programming society, shaping desires, fueling division, and even impacting real estate and finance.

From algorithms that amplify polarization to the normalization of behaviors online, we explore how the digital age is influencing not only our culture but also how buyers, sellers, and investors make decisions in today’s market.

👀 What you’ll learn:

How algorithms are shaping human thought and financial behavior

Why social media’s influence extends into housing markets and consumer confidence

The paradox of digital media: division vs. connection

What realtors, lenders, and investors need to know to navigate this new digital landscape

This isn’t just a conversation about technology — it’s about mankind, money, and the future of trust.

🔑 Join us as we peel back the curtain on the hidden power of media, and uncover what it really means for real estate and finance.

👉 Subscribe for more thought-provoking conversations on real estate, finance, and the forces shaping our world.

#RealEstateAF #KeyFactorsPodcast #SocialMedia #Finance #RealEstate

  Join us in this insightful episode as we explore the profound impact of social media on our lives. Our hosts and guests delve into how algorithms shape our perceptions, the importance of self-reflection, and maintaining spiritual and moral values in a digital age. Discover practical tips for curating your social media experience and fostering positive interactions. Whether you're seeking personal growth or understanding the broader societal effects, this discussion offers valuable perspectives.

#SocialMedia, #PersonalGrowth, #Spirituality, #SelfReflection, #Algorithms, #DigitalAge, #Empathy, #Community, #Influence, #Mentorship, #PositiveMindset, #RespectfulConversations, #SocialMediaImpact, #Faith, #MoralValues, #OnlineInfluence, #DigitalWellbeing, #SocialMediaTips

Chapters

• 0:40 Opening Prayer and Introductions
• 5:13 Social Media's Illusion of Choice
• 17:59 Normalization of Violence Online
• 30:53 Social Media as Information Equalizer
• 43:20 Finding Peace in Silence
• 1:25:15 Protecting Yourself from Digital Manipulation
• 1:40:40 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:40

Father, thank you so much for the day that you've given us today. Thank you for all the blessings you've bestowed upon us. Thank you for the presence of these five strong gentlemen that are in this room right now. I'm gonna ask that you lead our voices and our hearts with your spirit, with your wisdom, instill the words in us to do something impactful here today. Let us do your work and your honor in this podcast today. We're so thankful for the day. We love you, man. God bless.

SPEAKER_04: 1:03

Amen. Amen. And welcome back to another episode of Key Factors Podcast Real Estate AF. And I'm your host, Mark Jones, and we are powered by Lonebot.com. And today we're going to be diving into conversation that goes beyond real estate and home prices. Um, we're going to be talking about something that I believe many of us tend to overlook and become uh kind of wrapped up in. It's the I can't say age-old issue because it is a new age issue. Uh, we'll be talking about social media. We'll be talking about um how it controls what we are doing, and we'll be tying that back to our industry. Um, but I want to make sure to introduce our guests, and this is going to be a powerful conversation, not what you normally hear on Key Factors Podcast, um, but definitely something and a conversation that needs to take place. Um, so I couldn't have this conversation without the power of these other three men in the room. So, first I want to introduce our guests and give them a little moment to uh tell us about themselves briefly. Uh, you may or may not have heard about them. Uh, if you have not, that's okay. We're gonna talk about it now. First, I want to introduce Matt Mazzako. Matt, how are you?

SPEAKER_01: 2:20

I'm blessed, man. Yeah. I'm blessed, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 2:23

Um, real quick, if you could just tell us who you are, um, what you're about, all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 2:28

Um, well, I'm Matt Mazacco. I'm a mortgage lender. I've been doing this pretty much as long as you have to. Yeah, about 16 years, born and raised in San Antonio. Um, I'm just me, man.

SPEAKER_04: 2:38

Very good, very good. And then uh next we've got Steve Collins, the Steve Collins. How are you doing, brother?

SPEAKER_05: 2:44

Doing great, Mark. Thank you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04: 2:46

Yeah, tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_05: 2:49

Well, um, let's just get there real quick at 20 years old, dead dying, suicidal, bipolar manic, depressive, crackhead, needle tracks up and down my arm, taken into protective custody by the legal system, committed to the Texas State Hospital, dead dying, ready to end my life. Uh, got my high school girlfriend pregnant, got married, she got pregnant from another guy, and I was gonna put a gun in my head. I said, God, if you're real and you can help me, I'll do whatever you want. And clearly that prayer got answered. I had no idea I was gonna be called to the marketplace. I thought I was gonna be uh in the church and uh serving in the church, but he had a different plan to get in the marketplace. And so this will we're going on close to 30 years in real estate, 45 in sales. Uh, Angela and I will celebrate 31 years next week, seven kids. Um, just have done a lot of stuff in those 30 years. Never worked a Sunday in the last seven years on my team, no nights and weekends. And so that developed into an opportunity for me to help other people in the business learn that you could succeed financially at a high level without sacrificing your spirituality or your health or your marriage or your parenting, that you really could win on all areas if you just got crystal clear on what to do and really trusted God for the daily disciplines to do it. So um, in a nutshell, everything that I have been about has been not so much to teach, but to model as best as I can, which is a hell of a lot harder than teaching. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04: 4:12

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_05: 4:13

So, you know, I mess it up every day, but I mean, I get up every time I get knocked down, and I hope that my uh intensity and passion is an inspiration, particularly for other men.

SPEAKER_04: 4:24

Absolutely love that. Um, Jeff Garza. What's up, man? How are you, sir? Doing very well. Great to see you. Um, what do you think about the new studio?

SPEAKER_02: 4:32

I love it, man. Not bad. I love it. A lot of elbow rooms, especially for us guys that shop in the husky section. This is real good. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04: 4:39

Big and husky, no, big and lovely. That's right. Yeah, for sure. So, Jeff, tell us a little bit about yourself uh for the folks out there that have no idea who's Jeff Garden.

SPEAKER_02: 4:47

So um and kind of like Steve did, uh I'll call I'll go back because I think it's gonna be very relevant for me in this conversation. Um, yes, I'm in real estate, and I'll get to that here in a second, but I actually have a 17-year career background in social work. My degree is in criminal justice from UTSA. And so I was working for the state of Texas while I was going to night school at UTSA. So I was working at a food stamp office, I was a case aide, I was a caseworker, did a Medicaid eligibility for the elderly and disabled for the state of Texas. Yeah, then I graduate with this four-year degree, this magical piece of paper, and then I get a promotion and I become an investigator for child protective services. Oh, wow. Doing physical abuse and sexual abuse investigations. And so that's actually, I feel like it's super relevant, uh, actually, to I think some of the things we're gonna talk about here.

SPEAKER_07: 5:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 5:32

And so um, fast forward was a juvenile probation officer with Bear County for many, many years, and then I stumbled into real estate. Um, you know, I guess you could say I was between jobs after 17 years of doing this thing. And, you know, like good old country song says, you know, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And um, truthfully, uh I literally would just pray to God and be like, hey, like I feel like I'm trapped, I feel like there's more that I can offer to this world. I feel like you've equipped me with tools, but I don't know that they're completely being utilized. And I need you to send me a sign. And that's what I used to pray about for about two and a half, three months while I was quote unquote in between jobs, right? Um, and you know, stupid you know, married, raising the kids and all that other stuff. Uh, not panicking. I was like, you know, it's gonna be good. Um, and fast forward, long story short, I called a yard sign. Uh at that time I was looking to buy a rental home as an investment property. Yeah. And again, long story short, had a really, really um uh uh you know, lackluster, lackedaisical conversation with the listing agent. And when I got off the phone, I'm like, if she can make the kind of money I think she makes doing this, I think I can do it better. Yeah, so that's kind of like the quick version of that, right? And then uh today, you know, uh owning an independent brokerage uh by the name of Redbrook Realty. Today, you know, it's it's it's close to 200 agents that that I sponsor and that we have within the organization. Um, have offices in three different areas down in the Valley, McAllen here in San Antonio, and also Central Texas, out by Kleene, Fort Hood, Temple Belton area. Um, and then also dabble in other things just like everyone else here at this table with investments and other things.

SPEAKER_04: 7:08

That's right. That's right. Uh, and all three gentlemen at this table, including myself, are those that practice what we preach as best that we possibly can. Mind you, we are human. Um, but I think that uh for this conversation, I want to kick it off um with honoring uh the fallen Charlie Kirk. Um, I don't want this conversation to get political, which is why we want to keep it to a factual uh and what we've experienced and what we believe and what we think. Um, but kicking it off, I've got the first prompt here, which is social media creating the illusion of choice versus satisfaction. And I know that that seems broad, but at the same time, we can correlate it to so many instances where we believe, based on what we see, that we're actually making the choice to click on this. We're making the choice that I got to this page or this post. Um and in actuality, it's all an algorithm that is feeding us something that um is doing what it's doing to our society. Um does anybody want to start with that? Uh, the idea of what social media is doing in your life and how you've seen the difference.

SPEAKER_01: 8:43

It's tough. So I don't know if you noticed, but about five, six, seven years ago when you'd be scrolling through Facebook and there was a video on there, you'd see that little triangle with the play button in the center. Yeah. It didn't automatically play. Yeah. Now when you start thumbing through social media, it automatically plays. So instead of having the discretion to choose what you're being exposed to with a thumbnail or reading the prompt first, now it automatically plays. So for example, the assassination video.

SPEAKER_04: 9:11

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 9:12

I saw that like 50 times on Facebook. I mean, what the hell kind of world do you live in where someone's murder is not only being allowed to be hosted on this public free space where children, the young children are on. Probably not Facebook. Facebook's more for us old people, but um the way that it does that is designed to take your discretion away from you. It it really is almost a non-consenting exposure to information and traumatic information, it gets more clicks, it gets more traffic, it gets more views. And so they gear these algorithms to purposely put inflammatory information in front of you to trigger an engagement, whether it's a like, a comment, or an argument. And um I personally believe that there is a darker motive behind that. Um and I can't prove it, so I'm not gonna elaborate.

SPEAKER_04: 10:04

Well, well, you you saying that uh darker motive, okay. I'm gonna play devil's advocate to say what if it was not an intentional darker motive, what if it was something that evolved into that based on what they originally set up, which was we need to capture their attention. We're gonna create this algorithm to continue to get their attention, get their buy-in, get their uh uh time, essentially, because that's what it's doing when we jump on social media. You're either spending your time scrolling. Um now, mind you, there's plenty of instances where you've got 80% of the next generation that gets their news from social media.

SPEAKER_07: 10:53

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 10:54

Don't trust uh media outlets, which who can at this point, right?

SPEAKER_01: 10:59

Absolutely no justifying it.

SPEAKER_04: 11:01

But is this a better alternative? You know?

SPEAKER_01: 11:06

Well, I hear I hear what you're saying, but and I would be aligned to give more consideration to the devil's advocacy if it wasn't for the fact that if you look at the pattern of content that is typically pushed, yeah. I mean, I could go on my social media right now, I guarantee you there's probably some some death videos, there's some angry political commentary, there is opposing ideologies being put out there. And if you go into the comments, you will see the fights, you'll just see nonstop fighting. And I think that along the way they figured out psychologically that human beings are addicted to tragedy, they're addicted to trauma, they want the train wreck, they want, you know, there's a reason why people get into car accidents when there's a car accident on the road. They want to see what's going on. And unfortunately, you know, being positive, being happy, being motivated, being outwardly caring and like genuine, that doesn't really elicit engagement.

SPEAKER_00: 12:03

That doesn't like, oh man, Steve, I'm so happy to hear you're happy.

SPEAKER_01: 12:06

Right. No, but oh man, I don't agree with what you said. That that draws people in for some reason. And it's really easy to be angry. It's really easy to be negative, it's real easy to be frustrated. And so I think that it serves the laziest of human emotions that are the easiest to elicit.

SPEAKER_04: 12:23

I I I don't disagree with that at all. I don't disagree with that at all. What are you guys' thoughts on this? This this first little prompt.

SPEAKER_05: 12:32

You know, my thoughts uh are I think back to my grandmother who lived to be 100 that said, Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are before you had social media.

SPEAKER_04: 12:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 12:40

So what we were talking about is the idea of influence. Who had influence with us? And now you can be at home alone and have a tremendous amount of influence. You can have conversations that are coming in that are influencing the way that you think, the way that you feel, if you're not centered. And so from my perspective, I've got to begin with do I know who I am? Do I know what I'm about? Do I know what my values are? Do I have a crystal clear vision for what I love and what I hate, what is important to me and what is not important to me. And when I turned my life over to God 36 years ago, I gave up on my own thoughts and feelings, and I said, I need to dig into what's important to him.

SPEAKER_07: 13:33

Right.

SPEAKER_05: 13:34

So getting rooted and grounded in his character, his nature, what's important to him, life, freedom, helping, serving, giving, forgiving. There's a a list of attributes that are either encouraged and facilitated by conversations, or they are hindered and mocked and looked down upon. So for my perspective and the way that I talk to my kids is if you if you know who you are, you're gonna stand a better chance at being able to discern is this an influence that I want, uh, or is it not? Do do I can I see the smoke? Can I see through the BS and go, okay, how do I call something crap without calling the person crap? Yeah, and the character to have the ability to understand if I knew this guy's history, how he was raised, how he was molested, how he was beaten, how he was made fun of. I could see the history that God saw with that guy, I wouldn't be pissed off at him at all. I'd be broken for the guy. Like, God dang, dude. You know, no wonder you're showing up that way. So when God says, you know, judge not lest you be judged, it's because he sees the history. I don't see the history, I just see the way somebody's showing up. So to be able to lean into that and to discern for myself, um, uh you know, around my mind is like two big bodyguards. You know, my head's like the club, it's like and it's like you ain't on the list. Yeah, you ain't on the list. This BS, you ain't on the list. But when there is something that's edifying or encouraging, then I let that in on the list. So I I want to wrap up with that, but I want to say one thing that I've talked to my sons about in particular is I said, you know, when when when I was younger, if I wanted a car, if there was something I was after, it was a goal, it was a pursuit, and I knew how I would feel when I achieved or accomplished and got to that. And then I was able to work towards that. Now you can want your Porsche, you can want your lamo, whatever, and all you have to do is go like this, and you instantly have the feeling.

SPEAKER_06: 15:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 15:49

You have the feeling like you have it, even though you're sitting in the basement playing video games with Doritos in your belly button. You feel like you've achieved what you haven't accomplished. That's right. You know what I'm saying? And so the the uh the subtle the subtle sorcery behind making a man feel like he has accomplished something when he has not, right, is uh is very deceptive, and I think it can throw people off track. So I mean it's it's a uh potentially wonderful tool for learning and growing, yeah, but it also has the capacity to incapacitate the hearts and the motive of men who are easily swayed.

SPEAKER_04: 16:30

Absolutely. Before I move on to Jeff, I have a question for you. Yeah, because you mentioned knowing who you are before anything, and we've got a younger generation that are not getting the human interaction like we got growing up. Come home when the lights come on type concept. Do you feel or believe that social media, media, internet is actually shaping who they think they are?

SPEAKER_05: 17:07

Well, I think it's unequivocal. It is absolutely because it's influence. Influence in the past was relationship. So you had multi-generational influence and leadership when the family was together. Right. You had grandpa, you had grandma, you had the family was together, and there was multi-generational wisdom and impartation and direction. But more than that, there was modeling. Now, for a lot of us, a lot of it wasn't great modeling, you know, you have to do an alcoholic phase and the hating phase and the crazy phase. And I mean, you know, uh uh some is a blessing and some is a lesson. You got to know what to discern. But there was impartation and influence when there was engagement. And you break down the family, and then you break down, then the kids have their own groups of individual, and now you have broken families and the kids coming together and wanting to get their sense of identity and connection and community from one another in that brokenness which created gangs and other things. Sure. And now you don't even have to leave your freaking bedroom to feel like you're part of something, even though you're not. So I think it is 100% shaping. A kid, take a thousand kids out there today, and you show me one kid who says, Screw this phone, I want to go get some ice cream with my buddies, and I want to just go freaking for a bike ride. They don't maybe three or four.

SPEAKER_00: 18:23

Yeah, they don't even ride bikes, they're on electric scooters now, man. They don't like I saw this kid uphill just chilling.

SPEAKER_01: 18:30

I was like, like, yeah, I would have been dying when I was a kid experiencing this, and here they are just but then again, would you?

SPEAKER_04: 18:38

Because you wouldn't know any better. Oh, I mean, I would have been stuck to a padded. I have to sympathize with them to a certain extent because until they have a parent, a friend that they actually believe in and trust, um, a mentor, a true mentor, not somebody that is, I'm your mentor, but I'm not doing it for the purposes of bettering you. I want to look good for myself, etc. Do they actually know that that's even happening?

SPEAKER_01: 19:07

No, not at all. They're completely oblivious to it. And I think that that's one of the biggest problems is that so many parents try to supplement their children's boredom with something to keep them from being bored. And what they don't realize is the thing that made us all brilliant adults is the fact that we were really bored children. We had to go out and explore, we had to go out and problem solve on our own. We had to learn how to navigate through relationships with one another without, and sometimes it went to blows, you know. Like, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I'd go out with my friends and someone would end up in a fist fight. And then we went home together and we smiled and we laughed about our black eyes and our our busted lips, you know, and we learned how to face to face communicate with one another, to connect on a personal level. And you know, when you're when you're when you're on the internet, man, you don't see the other person's faces. So you don't see what you said to them and how it reacts or how it makes them react. Like if I said something mean to you right now, you don't have to say a word. I can watch your visceral reaction, I can see what I just did. And I forget who it was that told me this story. Oh, it was uh JJ Garena. Um, we were talking about, and he was like, you know, I remember when I was younger, like I was kind of a bully, you know? And I remember I picked on this one kid one day and I saw his face after I did it, and I felt so horrible. And it was a really impactful story to me because I was picked on as a kid, so I know what it felt like to be on the receiving end of it, but to hear someone that was on the other side saying what they experienced when they saw that, like, oh, and the internet doesn't give you that, you don't get a purview into the other person, and so it can really allow you to kind of dehumanize your conversations with people, it takes away empathy or um compassion for one another, and it really starts feeding into the ego where it's like I have this really strong inert desire to be right, yeah, and I don't care how it makes you feel because I am in a pursuit of being right. And I think that that, you know, again, the removal of the human interaction from human interaction is that unspoken language, that body language, that we're not we're not getting that input anymore. And I think that that really contributes to a lot of the psychosis and the hysteria that we see on social media is that I don't care how it makes you feel because I'm never gonna get any sense of guilt from seeing your pain. I am I am without harm in that situation. I didn't do anything wrong. When in reality, my words may have driven you to tears, they may have driven you into a depression. It may I could have just ruined your week for all I know. And eventually, as you start becoming more and more distant from that perception, it can evolve into something really ugly. Yeah. Now it's not just, oh, I'm not unaware of it. Now it's I want this. I want to hurt you. I want to see you in pain. And that's where we get uh it gets ugly there.

SPEAKER_04: 22:09

And I'm gonna give you something to think about, then I'm gonna go to Jeff. Do you think that that is why words have become violence? Pause there. Jeff, what are your thoughts on this, bad boy?

SPEAKER_02: 22:22

So the two things that we kind of have have addressed right now was first of all, like, you know, what is social media today, right? And so I think we're also just for everyone that's listening, I feel like we're gonna echo one another, but we're gonna I'm gonna play devil's advocate this whole time. And we're gonna eloquently kind of rewrap what we're saying in different words, uh, which is really good, I think, for the for the listening audience, right? And so hopefully someone can learn from this, someone can just look inside, you know, as this conversation goes on. But ultimately, first and foremost, social media to me is a lot of things, but I but it's a tool. It's it's it's a tool. It is a tool, it's a tool, it's a tool, right? Um, and the the the the problem becomes that any good, useful tool can be used for good.

SPEAKER_04: 23:05

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: 23:06

And any you know, functional tool can potentially be used for harm, right? And so it's a tool that depending on who you are, how you think, what you believe in, or if you don't have any beliefs, um is is a tool that you're you're repurposing to justify how you want to use it, right? Okay, um, so then the second part becomes like um, do we believe that social media is um, I think you said uh sculpting or molding, uh molding, right? Reshaping, yeah. Uh shaping, you know, our society, shaping the users or whatever. Um, 100% agree with that, you know, kind of as Steve was alluding to. But I would take it a different direction and say not only is it shaping, it is exposing everyone. Is exposed. That's right. It is exposing everyone who has, in my opinion, a moral compass. You might have one, I might have one. They may not be the same, right? But we have one. Okay. And so I'm not saying my moral compass is the only compass. I'm not, it's not what I'm saying. But what I'm saying is like it's exposing whether or not you have uh an inner an inner truth, a moral compass. It's expos like a baseline. Yeah, it's exposing whether or not you have a a North Star, a guiding light, right? Um, and for those who enter into the world of social media as a user, right? Then if you walk into it with no North Star, then you are now easily going to run into a not only a rabbit hole, but a dark trap. Um, because now you became um you know the the the consumer of it, right? And so um for me it it's really revealing is is is what it is right now, uh, based on today's situations and and things that are going on currently in our world. Uh, but again, I guess the last thing I would mention is that when I mentioned that it's exposing, it's exposing whether or not you had a you were grounded. It's exposing whether or not you had decency before you entered the platform. It's exposing whether or not you knew how to eloquently use your words or not. It's exposing whether or not you even understand that your wards can cut and that your wards can be very damning and very harmful if you've never had that ability to speak your mind before. And I'm gonna take it one step further and tell you um, it's also exposing if people were held accountable in their life for the things that they said and believed in, right? And so um to draw a picture, and this is gonna sound really corny, but I don't think it is, because I was thinking about it right now as as the guys were going, it's almost like social media is is this donut shop, okay? And you walk into this donut shop, and some of us might be predisposed to die to diabetes, sure, right? Sure, but because I it I I can have whatever I want when I walk into this donut shop. If I don't have self-control, if I don't have the proper knowledge, if I'm not educated about myself and where my vices could take me, yeah, then that donut shop could kill me, in a sense, right? That's correct. Yeah, I agree. Let's just say I'm very health conscious or or I've had some health issues and now I'm now I'm in tune, right? And now I'm taking my health more serious. Walking into the donut shop is not gonna change me. That's right. And walking into the donut shop does not mean that I'm gonna have 27 donuts for lunch today, you know, and and have a blood sugar spike that could drop me, right? And so, so for the listeners who are like, what in the world are these guys saying? I'm saying social media is a donut shop, and you need to know how many donuts you'd be willing to eat. That's right. I mean, I know that sounds very simple, but that's how I see it, you know?

SPEAKER_04: 27:10

Yeah, and and at this point in time in the conversation, people are probably wondering that are listening, why does this matter? We're realtors, we're lenders. And to that, I say if social media can shape and mold how the younger generation, and I'm gonna go as far as to say the older generation, people of our age, um we're not old. Yeah, we're getting better. Yeah, um, how do you not think that it does not change and affect that the way that they view our market, our real estate market, buying a home, uh, being a homeowner? All of those things are essentially being programmed based on what they want to be put in front of us. And and it's reshaping and skewing how things actually are. Example, you've got interest rates that the Fed uh could make a cut today, they could not, etc. But you've got everybody on there that believes because when the Fed makes a cut in rates, it's going to affect mortgage rates. That in itself is not accurate. But social media, because we have seen so many posts that coincide with the dates of the announcements, and realtors, lenders trying to capture business will use that. Now you talk to a consumer that doesn't know any better, they're going, yeah, the Fed just cut rates. That that means your rates are lower, right? And that's not accurate. But that in itself, as small as that that example is, is showing how they're viewing the world, the the their community in this illusion make-believe world, is their reality, which, true or not, in my opinion, um, it is affecting our industry. It's affecting every industry, and taking that further. Um, now moving on to this next piece, and and and I want to talk about this, could get a little tough, but it's back to what you were talking about and the idea of the normalization of violence, the normalization of what we see. Um example, I I watched a video um of a gentleman that um basically came out and said that was something we were never supposed to see as humans. We we just were Not supposed to see that. But yet, like you were saying, you can jump on your feed and it's everywhere. Not only was it a a pay non-paywall to see something like that, but it was refreshed and refreshed and refreshed and refined and refined and slowed down. And it's like, whoa. There, there's no emotional attachment to seeing something like that. That if we were to see that in person, there's no way you can't tell me that it would affect. And I don't not just talking about that situation, just in general. There's no way you can't tell me that your life would not be changed one way or another moving forward. Um what are y'all's thoughts on the normalization of these things?

SPEAKER_01: 30:51

Well, I truly believe we're in the midst of a spiritual battle right now. Um, and so I believe that the enemy is using these types of tools to desensitize people, to dehumanize people. Um, you know, Satan works in corruption and deception. He's his job is to destroy. He he can't create anything, he can only destroy, taint, and harm. And I truly believe the reason why I'm more rooted in thinking that it's a dark motivation behind it all is because what easier way for him to accomplish his objectives? Before he had to go out and seek us out as individuals, he had to find us in the world, he had to send his demons after us, he had to really work to get us. Now there's a consolidated place where he doesn't have to work to get us there. People are so addicted to social media and so addicted to their phones that they're willingly stepping into this arena and being exposed to really horrible stuff. I mean, you have to really like you should see my algorithm now. My algorithm's dope. Like I got like nothing but good stuff going on. My algorithm, man. Like my Instagram, my Facebook, all of them. Like, I have had to intentionally teach them to provide me the type of content that I want to be exposed to because I don't want to see the death. I don't want to see the destruction. You know, y'all know me. I used to be real into politics. I was real big for like, come on, let's fight. Like, I am in for this, let's go. Um, and I saw how it personally hardened me. I saw what it did to me. It it allowed me to bring this evil into my heart that is not organically existing inside of me. I was taking what I was seeing from outside sources and internalizing it, becoming hurt by it, even though it didn't happen to me directly, and then reacting in a manner that was aggressive, confrontational, you know, just nothing positive was coming as a result of that. And so having gone through everything I've experienced, being on the other side of the cancel culture, having you know, death threats sent to my home, having to sleep on my freaking couch with a shotgun and a rifle just because I wasn't sure if someone that texted me my address today was actually going to show up or not. You know, um it it puts something in me. Like I even get like, like even now, like I had to take a deep breath just because it's like I get mad when I think about it. But what I realize is that that's just one of the enemy's attacks, man. That's all it is. Because if he can get into your heart in that way, you're not talking to God. You're not praying, you're not rooting yourself in something good, you're not chasing after something holy. You are trying to enact a righteous vengeance, you're trying to get even, you're trying to get revenge. It's like I want to make you pay for what you did to me. I am now a victim. My ego is really pissed off about that, and now I'm gonna go punish everybody. And it's a really easy pitfall to fall into. I mean, it got me in. I'm a really smart guy, I'm pretty emotionally centered. I'm I I would say I'm above average on intellect, and it hooked me deep and hard. And having gone through that and then having my heart reshaped and changed, it really kind of changed the way that I looked at things. And that's why recently I've been so vocally advocating for we cannot react with hatred, we cannot react with anger, we cannot react with contempt, we cannot react with judgment, because we will become the very thing that we are unpleased by seeing in the world right now. We'll become the very people that celebrate someone losing their job, for example. I see a lot of conservatives right now that are just giddy with delight seeing people losing their jobs. And I lost my job when I had my stuff. For for those that don't know, I went into the Capitol on January 6th. I was one of the Capitol rioters that got in trouble for all that, completely destroyed my life, and here I am rebuilt now.

SPEAKER_04: 34:32

And so just to be clear, everybody, he did not have uh dress. No, I did not have a big burnout.

SPEAKER_01: 34:39

I was wearing clothes. It was very cold that day. Like that dude is crazy. I don't know how he pulled that off, but yeah, um but you know that it that was such an impactful event in my life. It was one of the major milestone events in my life, and it changed me for the worse for a long time. And it wasn't until I surrendered my life over to Jesus that it actually started to turn around and then the inertia started coming, and then all of a sudden, you know, I back in the day I would have never talked about this publicly. Like I would have gone out of my way to avoid anybody knowing about what had happened. Today I use it as like a proud story that I boast on because so much good has come out of that, but it was only because I made the personal decision to take accountability for my actions, to do some self-reflection and look at myself in the mirror, stop with the negative self-talk. You know, a dear friend of mine, she's my sixth-grade science teacher, used to just harass me nonstop. Like, you got to stop being so bad to yourself, you got to stop being so mean to yourself, you got to stop talking down to yourself because you're destroying yourself and doing that. And she actually challenged me. She was like, I want you to wake up every morning and I want you to look at the mirror and I want you to tell yourself I love you. I want you to look at yourself and say, I love you. And I want you to think of a couple of things about yourself that you love about yourself, and it has to be real, it has to mean something, and then I want you to go do it. And in that process, I was like, huh, you know what, Matt, you are pretty funny, dude. Like, yeah, and you're smart too. Like you know when to deliver it and when not to. And sometimes you do it when you know not to, also, because you're you're pretty funny, you know, and damn good looking. And well, you know, you said it, not me, man. But um, it's the beard.

SPEAKER_04: 36:16

I'm comfortable with my skin.

SPEAKER_01: 36:17

Hey, I am too. You're a very handsome man as well, Mark. But um, I guess the point of that all is that what I see happening on social media is people, it's I don't see it as much of a donut shop as more of a lake full of fish, and there's a lot of people at its edges that are fishing from the edges. There's boats that are out there that are hunting for the big fish. And unfortunately, I love fishing, but in this analogy, and I love donuts.

SPEAKER_07: 36:42

Well, okay, all right, all right, let's go.

SPEAKER_01: 36:45

But in my analogy, the the people that are fishing are not um well intended. You know, these are people that are trying to pull us out of our sphere and out of our space and trying to remove us from the water and trying to take us onto their boat for their own use. And I don't want to see that.

SPEAKER_04: 37:01

Yeah, and you made a good point there that I want to come back to, and I I wrote it down here.

SPEAKER_02: 37:06

Uh Jeff, let me jump in real quick. So, you you know, basically you're saying, hey, you know, are we being desensitized, right? Is this is what we're seeing and what we have access to um, you know, having an impact on us? And again, I I can do y'all remember, and when I feel like we're right at the right table with the right folks, because generationally speaking, do you remember back in the day, whatever that was, right, for us? Okay, back in the day, now that's kind of date us. Do you remember the most stoic, stern, hardened, beloved professionals in our society were medical professionals, law enforcement professionals, military professionals, and or potential social work types that dealt with the worst of the worst? Yes. Okay and you remember, like, you go over to your buddy's house and like his dad was real cold, and you'd be like, hey bro, like what's up with your dad? And he's like, Oh man, he was in the military. Or you'd go to your buddy's house and the the mom, I don't know, maybe she was a law enforcement, like, hey, why is your mom like like hardcore like that? You know, like what's what's up with her? Oh bro, she she's an investigator uh with with with the police department or whatever, right? And so what I'm getting at is that those are the groups that come to my mind as we're having this conversation over the last 30, 40, 50 plus years of people who, in essence, knowingly signed up to see the things they saw in their day-to-day. And I'm gonna use I'm gonna exactly and I'm gonna use a quick example personally, okay? So um recently I was at an event out of state business deal, mastermind, if you will, and I got to, you know, having a cigar with a gentleman, and he he was uh, you know, prior military, and we started talking a little bit about his PTSD journey, which it was I I felt blessed to have that conversation because a lot of people don't open up about that. And and it just happened, it was right there in my lap, and we just started having a conversation. Then he asked me, What did what did you do? And obviously, the today answer is real estate, right? Obviously, but I went back and I was like, Well, back in the day, this is actually what I used to do, and I always thought I was gonna do that all of my life. He's like, How long did you do it? And I told him, and then when I told him the whole like child protective thing, he was like, Hold on, you were an investigator with CPS in Texas, and I'm like, Yeah, down in San Antonio. And he was just and and this caught me off guard. And it's going, I'm going to get into a point. So go for it. He was like, he was like, and I wouldn't, I never have taught thought of myself like this, but he he said, You did physical abuse and sexual abuse investigations, and I'm like, Yeah. And he was like, You must have seen the worst. And I'm like, I have seen the devil. I have personally, yeah, in in that work that I did, okay. And he is like, Man, thank you for your service. And that caught me so off guard, and I'm like, girl, I I didn't I didn't serve. He goes, You're so mistaken. He was like, the shit that I saw on the battlefield, you just happened to see it in the urban battlefield. Yeah, and it hit me, this was just a few months ago. Wow, and I've never had that perspective of like, holy crap. And so then he goes on to ask me, because obviously this guy's been through a ton of counseling and therapy and things, right? And and I have a background in counseling and therapy and psychology and sociology, etc. Right, and and he's like, When you were doing that job, were you overbearing and over-protective of your kids? And I said, Yeah. He goes, Were you super edgy in your house, like with your spouse, and like to like another degree to where like your kids felt like you were, for lack of a better word, like suffocating them.

SPEAKER_04: 40:59

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 40:59

And I'm like, Yeah, if you were to ask my older children who are adults today, sure, like I've apologized to them. Like, I'm sorry that you got that version of a dad, but no one was teaching me this was shit, this was 23, 24 years ago. Yeah, no one was telling me, Jeff, like, hey, bro, like what you saw today, you should have never seen. And what you saw today will always be in the back of your mind or the front lobe, I don't know. And you're gonna see your children differently, and you're gonna see the world differently. So, what I'm getting at, and I'm just trying to tell a story here. I think I think it's super important, yep, is what people don't realize is that A, we made a big mistake. And I know I'm gonna date myself, and I know I'm gonna sound like a fuddy duddy and like an like an idiot to some people who are listening to that, which is okay. We made a mistake as a society allowing things like um Grand Theft Auto to be acceptable 20 years ago, where like you could get points if like you carjacked somebody.

SPEAKER_04: 42:02

That's right.

SPEAKER_02: 42:02

And if you did like if you if if you committed a sexual assault on somebody on a freaking video game 20 years ago, okay. And so what I kind of want to do to kind of close this loop for me is that fast forward to today 2025 shit, we're already in 2026. I know we all think we're already it's 2026, right? And so what I what I need to tell, what I feel compelled to say is that someone who's listening who maybe hasn't had this retrospect or perspective or or or or thought on it is this if you were never, if you never signed up to be an emergency room doctor, uh a medical professional telling people that they had nine months left to live, if you didn't sign up to counsel somebody who was raped all over their life by their family member, if you didn't sign up to go, you know, have a have a beat you know on the streets and and protect the neighborhoods and see gun violence and see drive-by shootings and see assaults, et cetera, et cetera. And if you didn't sign up to be in the military knowing that you could pay the ultimate price and also be in battle, right? And many, many parts from from from a lot of large part of your life, you're not equipped to see it. Correct. Correct. And everybody in the world who would have never signed up for those professions, not because they're soft and not because like they're not, they can't take it. We weren't designed to see that shit. That's right. We were not designed to see that shit, and so kind of going back to my it's exposing things, it's exposing how desensitized we already are. Like it shook me seeing that video, and it still bothers me today. And you're absolutely right. All I was doing was jumping on social media. That's right. I wasn't asking to see what I saw. Yep, I didn't have a two-second buffer to make that decision for me. So, what I would say to people who are triggered warning. Yeah, yeah, trigger warning.

SPEAKER_00: 44:06

Sort of like, hey, you're about to watch someone lose their lights.

SPEAKER_02: 44:09

So it's and mind you, that's hardened Jeff. Amen. Bro, like uh I mean, I I could tell you some horror stories. Think about CPS 20 years ago in San Antonio, yeah. All the kids being starved, all the kids being chained to their beds here in San Antonio. Like, I was in that shit. Yeah, I saw it firsthand, it's not good, and that's when I personally realized there is light and there is dark. Yeah, and and and I could take the most um, I don't, I don't I'm gonna use my words wisely, I could take someone who vehemently disagrees with my perspective on life, and I could put him in my CPS sexual abuse investigator shoes for one hour. And I can promise you, if they could see what I saw for one hour, they would walk away and tell themselves there is light and there is dark. And I'll leave it at that for for now. Okay, but I think everyone understands what I'm saying, but I'm but I'm trying to appeal to someone who's listening who doesn't want to go down the road of faith and religion. I'm just going down the road of energy. Yeah, there is evil and there is good, and again, last but not least, we are in a very, very precarious moment, a very, very huge fork in the road, and we'd better wake the fuck up. Excuse my French, don't but ultimately if you are desensitized to that and you can see that and have no reaction, man, uh you you you you you are exactly what the the the dark is looking for, right? Because you no longer have any reac emotion to that. Absolutely. So I'll sit up there.

SPEAKER_04: 46:06

So switching gears a little bit, um, because we've been talking negative about social media as a whole, and I want to bring to light um just a concept and let us talk about it for a moment. Whereas many would see, because free speech, I believe in free speech, okay? Um obviously there are consequences for what we say, there there are uh uh repercussions, uh, there are people that could be hurt by words, etc. But there's also a bigger as time progressed, social media was introduced, all of these different platforms were introduced. One may say, well, wouldn't you see that as the great equalizer? Why? Because before that we had one, two, three outlets of media that was supposed to be giving us the news, the facts, the the the the true facts. And and obviously there's no way for us to know, but if we were to uh take social media away, we're back to those same couple of outlets where we get our news. We're either reading it or we're getting it from CNN, radio television, radio television that's exactly correct, newspaper, and I think and I do believe this, that if there were not the social media outlet that had been created, the different platforms where we could share and consume different uh topics, different views, we would really only have those to rely on. And as we've seen, those have an agenda. Definitely have an agenda. So would you would any of you like to shed any uh opinions on the concept of it being an equalizer for the share of information? I'm not saying good information, bad information, but information. Um because as you can you jump on X, you'll get real uh news, real current events that happened before the media gets it and puts their spin on it, you're getting it raw from the source. Uh this just happened. Bang, I'm putting it on. Well, I don't need to go to the media. I saw what he said, the type concept. Do you guys think that that is for the greater good over what it does negatively to us in shaping what we do in that?

SPEAKER_05: 48:58

You know, my thoughts are I think Jeff nailed it earlier, it's a tool. You know, it's a tool. A gun in the hand of a righteous guy can make stuff happen. A gun in the hand of an evil guy can make stuff happen. I think there's an opportunity available for confusion and sensory overload when you have that many platforms. Because if I was to break it down to going way back, and when I say way back, I'm talking let's just start with Garden of Eden. Okay. There's a model, and here's the model. There's a family, here's what we do, there are children, here's what mom and dad do. And there were generations of people who flowed with what their families did, and then different families had all different professions, and and that kind of stayed in the family. And then you have the model of Jesus, who I think it for me, everything, all the conversations boil down to what can I do today? I'm always thinking, what can I do today? That can be done so that it's not a conversation of frustration or uh you know, you just what's the conclusion? What can I do today? Right to make a difference. And Jesus said it, follow me. He taught and he did, and he said, Follow me. And then Paul comes along, and of course, Paul's crazy, killing Christian, doing all kinds of stuff, and he's like, bro, back off. I got something for you. And then Paul says, not God, Paul says, follow me as I follow him. And so there's this, there's this uh age-old model of patterning one's life around those around them, whether consciously or unconsciously. I mean, like I said, most of us are raised in households where there was things we shouldn't have seen, there are things that shouldn't have done. Our parents are doing the best they could with what they knew, and you know, we were deal with the cards that we had. Grow from what happened to me growing up, not my fault. What I do with it from this point forward, a thousand percent my fault. Yes. Okay. So when I look at what's changed with social media, what I look at now is, and it's been said a thousand times, but God, I loved the first time I heard it. I thought, that's powerful, is that don't compare your behind the scenes to somebody else's highlight reels. Yeah. Because nobody's on there going, Me and my wife just got into a hellacious fight, man. I just called her a bitch and she called me an asshole, and I said that's fair, and we, you know, scream. Not normally. Yeah, you know what? It's not on my algorithmic. It's probably because my phone says you got enough of that going on in your real life. Okay. So the the point that I make is that when I look at as a whole what what is available, I look at the next generation no longer getting models or examples or mentors or people. You that's Dave. Oh, Dave's into cars. Like, yeah, yeah, Dave, that's Bobby's daddy, Dave. Like, he's in the car. I might want to get into cars. Right. Hey, this guy's a fireman. This guy's freaking cool, you know. He's going, and then uh I'm I'm speaking specifically for males. Okay, so let me just make that real clear. For guys seeing someone that they respect, that they could emulate, where they could say, I think I could see myself doing that. There was a limit around who you socially interacted with. Sure. Social, real world, social media, bullshit, electronic stuff. Now it doesn't mean that it's fake, but it means now kids are exposed to so much and the comparisons are such that without a real relationship or a model, um, I see it creating a lot of confusion and a lot of stress. And that's why we have guys like you guys, you know, Jeff running his brokerages, he's modeling this is how you take care of people. This is how you can use the gifts that God gave you to serve other people and make an income. And 200 plus people are like, got it. We're gonna okay, show us that way. It's it's one thing to teach, it's another thing to impart, right? And to model. And so when we when we look at what's happening with young people these days, my job is I want to be a guy that if a kid meets on the streets or out there or somewhere, he's like, ah, I like this guy. You know, the the the my sons, my four sons, you know, and three daughters, but my four sons in particular, they're their friends love hanging out because like your ass is gonna get in the cold plunge. Yeah, you're gonna get in the sauna. Yeah, it's I'm gonna wrestle you. You don't have fucking forearms to have one, you know. And and they're just like they're jacked, they just get excited because they go like there's a real interaction going on here that makes me want to be more than I currently am.

SPEAKER_02: 53:57

They're built to crave that masculinity. That's right. You just crave it. We are built to crave it.

SPEAKER_05: 54:05

Yes, exactly, because that's the model, right? I think that's the model that God set up. So when we look at everything, you've never experienced it before. Yeah. Well, what what what is that? Yeah, well, and and I think the inability to develop, like you guys were talking about earlier, if you can't articulate what you're thinking and what you're feeling to even communicate that, you don't even know how to enter into a relationship like that. So I accept the responsibility as a man of saying I'm intentional about living in such a way that can be attractive to young men who are lost and who are out there on their own, or even older men who are just like, I'm very successful, but my life is still crap and I'm not happy. What does that look like? And that's not a here-to-hear. That's a here-to-hear thing. It's just saying, I've got high miles, man. And so I might have some failures and mistakes that can help you, but I'm intentional about conversations. I'm intentional about waking up and calling out of men what is inside of them so that you have an alternative to it. Because I think with absent fathers and broken families and kids on social media, a person can literally be locked up in the room for years and not even learn how to communicate with people.

SPEAKER_02: 55:21

Steve, you you mentioned uh sensory overload, what was one of the first things you mentioned. And I think that's super, super, super uh powerful and important to mention, which is like, you know, anybody listening to this, I would ask you like literally, can you find peace in silence? Can you drive to your workplace and turn off all your phone notifications? Maybe perhaps turn off all the music. I know we can like tap into some good music and energy and stuff like that, but I'm just saying, like, can you just be in your thought, right? And there are a lot of people, and I'll just say Americans who can't because they're they they have they've been conditioned over the last 20 to 30 years at least to be able to say, How am I supposed to think today? And they go look for someone to tell them how to think. That's right. So what so anybody listening to this, like I would just say, like, think to yourself, are you strong in your own right? Can you stand in your own shoes? Can you be still in silence? And can you find peace and calm with nothing happening? Yeah, right. And I think that will help some people get maybe re-centered, right? Like, you know, I'm not I don't think anybody's here at this table is saying our way is the best aware that we're perfect. Not at all. I don't think anybody's saying that. So I don't I hope no one ever you know there you go. Well, according to you, you're the you're the best looking. So that's what that's what we think with this. Yeah, um, but ultimately, like it there is a deep psychological programming, deprogramming, sensitizing, desensitizing. There's a lot of things happening right now if we're not willing to actually call it for what it is. So um, I have a lot of friends, uh, and I I call them friends and brothers and sisters who have extremely different views on a lot of things. But man, I was just talking to a couple of of important ones recently. Like, I'm still gonna love them. It's still gonna be safe to disagree. And sometimes the conclusion is we are going to agree to disagree, but we're gonna hug it out when it's over. And those are the kind of people I'm okay being around. And I and I yearn that because I know I don't I don't want, and I and I don't think anybody here at this table wants to be around a bunch of people who are programmed just the way you are. That's right. No, I've been made better. I I've seen more worldview, I see more color by seeing certain things through your lens, right? And so I I I was gonna mention, I think that we're in a world today, and I I think y'all will, this is a good one. We are we are programmed to be playing this zero-sum game. It's all or nothing. Yeah, and it's not all or nothing. I I I might lean conservative on certain things, I might agree with uh a liberal policy or two. I might same here. I might, you know, think certain Republican things make sense. I might think a couple of Democratic things thinks that like you know, like it's okay. And you know, um, someone recently I was talking to, they were just like, you know what? I think most of us, whether we we and I I don't think we want to admit it, which I that's why I'm mentioning it. I think most of us play, like if we're looking at a football field, right? And we're looking at the lines and the yard lines and the end zones, most of us probably all play very similar and believe very similar between the 20-yard line and the other 20-yard line. Where we differ is really that last 20 yards on how to get the ball into the end zone on each side. Yep, because it though that's where the nuance comes in, that's where the upbringing comes in, that's where the socioeconomic input comes in, that's where the um who my friends are comes in, where my station in life at that moment, what my vices in life might be at that moment. Would you shake those last 20 yards?

SPEAKER_04: 58:56

Would you say that that is where humanity ends and ideology begins?

SPEAKER_02: 59:03

It could be. I I think that might also be where independent thought begins. Okay, because maybe we have, and and I don't know that I'm necessarily mean what I'm about to say in terms of the term, but maybe we have group thought between 20 and 20 yards, yeah. And where we really start to identify this is the Steve Collins approach. It's it's it's from that 20 to the end zone. Yeah, I'm gonna take my family to the pylon over here. Yeah, I'm gonna guide my me and my wife are gonna have a relationship that gets me a post here, you know, or whatever the case, you know, I'm using a football analogy, right? Yeah, you know, so I don't know. I I would say that's the 20s to the end zone is where the independence comes. And if you were not a part of maybe some general consensus, then you might be running a play that no one quite understands. Because I mean you're wrong, right? But it that's where maybe there's some very varying differing outcomes.

SPEAKER_04: 59:57

Yes, yes, and and and I also

SPEAKER_05: 1:00:06

You know, if I was to just give you the the lenses that I put on when I taught this Monday to a group and I I anything that I uh take to heart is probably come from Jesus. Okay, because this is my this is my um That's your ultimate mentor that's my that's my baseline for uh truth and not and uh and he addressed all this stuff years ago and he said you know watch out for wolf in sheep's clothing. Okay, well what does that tell me? A person can look one way and not be that way. And he said, here's how you're gonna know them. I'm gonna tell you how to know them. You can know them by the fruit they produce. An apple tree is not gonna produce oranges, a banana tree is not gonna produce you know, uh lemons. A tree will produce fruit. And then it goes on in Galatians to talk about okay, what is that fruit? Okay, nine love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. These are fruits of someone connected to God. Okay. So regardless of what this guy says or does or what's going on, I'm I'm a freaking fruit inspector. I am inspecting fruit for proper discernment. What is being produced out of what they're saying? What is being produced out of what they're doing? First, evaluating me, what fruit am I producing so that I can discern myself rightly. And Jeff and I were joking earlier, you know, a compliment his wife gave him. And I go, that's how I know when a guy is really doing well, when his wife says he's doing well. Yeah, because she ain't gonna lie. Right. It's usually the opposite sometimes. Uh yeah, my wife is gifted in telling me where I'm in here. Who listened to this?

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:44

So that the conversation was about my beautiful wife telling me that she's noticed over the last few years that I have mastered, or whatever that is, self-control. And that I've mastered not reacting, not being reactive, not being reactionary and reactive. And she's like, and and like again, like what Steve was saying, if my wife has seen it, then it's clear because that's that's well, she knows you the best. She would know me the best 100%.

SPEAKER_05: 1:02:07

Reactionary is her number one charge against me. But the the point is that I'm making when when we are in this season of life that we find ourselves in, I have found that as a believer, the ultimate discernment for me, the ultimate litmus test is what is being produced in this man's life.

SPEAKER_07: 1:02:27

Right.

SPEAKER_05: 1:02:27

What is the fruit in this person's life? Because you can talk crap about people, but if you pay attention, you can see what's being produced. And and and I try to do my best to keep it as simple as possible.

SPEAKER_04: 1:02:40

Yeah. Um, and I think what you're talking about there is a higher level of EQ in the sense that you're aware that you used to react a certain way, and now, given your experience, given your situations that you've taken place, and maybe some of the reactions went well, most probably didn't, just like myself, because I was the same way. And I think it's inherent in that um drive. We we've got a drive and and we want control, and we know that if we do things this way, it's gonna work. If we do it that way, oh I've been down that road. So we react.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:20

When you got to move fast, too.

SPEAKER_04: 1:03:21

Correct. And at a certain point, similar, and I would imagine you guys are are getting that too, as we run businesses and we uh lead people, and we have to empathize and sympathize, and all of the different situations that we go through on a daily basis, we start being able to go, okay, stop. Let me think, let me let me let me digest this, let me filter this through what my experiences in the past, whereas the reaction that was inherent. It's something that we do, but being able to control yourself, uh that's not it's not easy.

SPEAKER_05: 1:04:01

No, can I tell you one thing that'll bless you guys? I hope my wife told me this the other day. She said, I've noticed you've started to pause, and that's the grace of God. And she goes, Do you know what pause stands for? I know, but I can't wait for you to tell me. Postpone action until serenity enters. I like that. There you go. Like, hold on, well, maybe let me take some notes on that. Say that again. You're like, I'm putting that on a t-shirt. Postpone action until serenity enters. And I'm like, that's that's intense. So I don't have the self-discipline for that pause. I prayed and asked God to give me the grace for that clause. Yeah, that pause. And and because I am quick to react, and I've asked for that. God, if you just gave me a couple of seconds to be master sit food, you know, S T F U, I have discovered, man, that my life goes great when I shut the up. That's right.

SPEAKER_07: 1:04:55

Yep.

SPEAKER_05: 1:04:56

Especially at home. I speak for a living, I shut up to make a life.

SPEAKER_07: 1:04:59

Yep, you know, it's just different. Yes.

SPEAKER_05: 1:05:02

So here I am now, uh, with this grace to pause. Yeah. Um and I think it's made all the difference in the world. And I think, Jeff, it comes out of what you're talking about. When you start to look at developing a discipline of quiet time, getting quiet, getting alone, just shutting the prayer, talking to God, meditation without sounding woo-woo, being quiet and listening. Whether that's a walk in nature, a walk around the block, whether that's just sitting down and being still and feeling the breeze. As as as I have gotten in touch with that quiet time, you have an opportunity to begin to reflect. Because I think it was uh Socrates or Aristotle said the unexamined life is not worth living. You know, you have to have time to pause and look at ourselves and say, okay, how did that go? Yeah. Did that go well? Did that not go well? And evaluate. But once again, it boils down. The whole conversation always boils down to what can Steve Collins do today to make a difference? Because it's it's easy to be overwhelmed with all the things that need to happen and should happen, and we want to make an impact and a difference. Yeah. And it's like the old starfish story, you know, like there's millions of them on the shore. Son, you're never gonna make a difference. He throws it that made a difference for that one. That's right. You know, if if I can make a difference in one person's life today, then I'm gonna be at peace with that. Because I saw that model. I saw, hey, we got 5,000 people to feed. Jesus, what do you got? Got a couple fish, man. A couple loaves of buttercrest. That's basically it. Give it to me. And so if I can be faithful with what little I have today, trusting that he can multiply that and make an impact. The difference is being resigned to I can't do anything, this world sucks. Yes, versus saying, I I am going to do what I can do and trust God for the results. I think that's a great marching order for men.

SPEAKER_04: 1:06:57

Absolutely. And and I want to, before we end it, I want to give you guys an opportunity to bring a topic that that we haven't discussed. Um, but before we do, I want to circle back to what Jeff and you you kind of capped off there is the idea of being with yourself, being with your own thoughts, being with um your own decisions that you've made that day. I started to do that a while back. Uh, matter of fact, on the car ride home. And it was just I got in the car and my it was going so fast, and we deal with so much on a daily basis that's just thrown at us. Not saying any more or less than anyone else out there. I'm just saying what I go through. And it was 20 minutes later, I got home and I went, oh shit, I didn't touch my phone, I didn't turn on the radio, didn't listen to a podcast. I just reflected, talked to myself and realized what took place today. And you know what? I actually came to some solid conclusions by the time I pulled up in my driveway. Now I have to have that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:08:10

Real quick, please. I'm gonna take over real quick. Yes, because I would like to know which every what what version of that is is true for everybody at this table. So mine is my morning drive. My morning drive for me, for self, for Jeff is my most powerful. Um so I'll either listen to something that will put me in a in the right mood, or I'll turn it off so I can think about okay, what am I doing this week? What happened yesterday? What do I what am I in charge of today? What am I responsible for? Who needs me to show up today? What's my energy like? Am I wearing my emotions on my sleeve? That kind of thing, right? So it's a lot, it's a deep self-reflection. Uh the other version for that for me is when I take showers. Yeah. It's a shower shower thing. Shower thoughts, maybe. Yeah, shower thoughts are important, right? You know, um, and then the other one is um any time that I am typically away from like Texas coast and US, yes, is when I'm I don't want to say vacation, but when my feet are on the sand near water, uh typically a Mexican destination or Dominican or something. Um, but I have had some of my most profound understandings in those moments of solitude. And I don't even think people today even yearn solitude.

SPEAKER_06: 1:09:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:09:33

And so that those are mine. I just I'm curious. What are what are y'all's? Where where where does you where do you get that moment?

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:39

So I've been thinking on this thought since you talked about sitting in and silence and how people are incapable of doing that and they run to their phones. Um, and then marked their word out there that affirmed what it was that was going on. And he said, you know, reflection. And my thought that I was having is that when we sit in that stillness and that silence, it's like sitting in front of a mirror. And it's a mirror that God's holding up for us. And I think the reason why so many people run to their phone or run to porn or run to whatever it is that they run to when they're in that stillness is because they are terrified of what they are about to look at when they look in that mirror. They are aware that there are things that they are wearing on them that they should not be wearing, that they are doing things they shouldn't be doing, they're behaving in ways they shouldn't be behaving, they're either doing things that they shouldn't do or not doing things that they should do. And when you sit in that stillness, you don't have a whole lot to do other than self-reflect. Or, you know, I guess you could be, you know, make it outwardly and like, oh, woe is me. I'm a victim, I hate this, I hate that. But for me personally, when I sit in silence, and that's what I do in the morning. So the first thing I do, I walk out of my room, I go out and I sit on my back porch. I've got a beautiful backyard, I've I've curated it to be exactly what I want it to be. And that's my little peace place, you know, that's my slice of heaven. And I just sit there for 10, 15 minutes and I just don't allow any conscious thoughts to come into my head. I just sit there and let whatever naturally makes its way in, in, I think on it, I ponder on it, I pray on it. Um, some mornings I put on worship music, other mornings I just leave it completely silent. But um, you know, what I've discovered is that in sitting with myself in silence, I've learned how to be a more patient man. I've learned how to be more compassionate towards other people. I've learned how to look at myself with love while critiquing myself and looking for areas of opportunity. You know, like we know where we're slacking, we know where we're not doing enough, we know where we're not showing up. And oftentimes we distract ourselves so we don't have to think about that. And I think that again, it feeds back into the whole social media and you know, dopamine hits that you get from social media, you get addicted to it, and then all of a sudden you just want to feel good. You don't want to hold yourself accountable. I don't want to look at myself in the mirror and pull my shirt up and be like, oh God, I gotta I need to diet and get to the gym, you know? Like and so a lot of times people will just put a bag of your shirt on. People will just wear something so that you don't see it, and so you don't see it, and so you don't see it. And even though I'm carrying it around with me, I get to pretend to the world like it doesn't exist. And it's so self-defeating and so self-destroying, you know. And and when you sit in that stillness, you really start to learn about your character, you start to learn about your morals, you start to learn about who you are, and it's so easy to get lost in that, especially when you give access to sources that aren't aren't supposed to be there, like what you were talking about, how you know, before the internet, we had to find our mentors, we had to find our guides, we had to apply discernment towards the friendships that we nurtured and fostered. And we also had to break away from people that weren't serving our commonalities. And now, and this is why I'm such a big advocate against children having cell phones under the age of 16. I just don't think children should have access to the internet at all because you're not giving that child access to the internet, you're giving the world access to your child. You're giving all of these influences, all of these ideologies, all of these thoughts, all of these things that I would what I would wage war if someone tried to bring some of this crap into my home. Like I would literally like stomp heads. Like it would be violent if somebody tried to enter my home with a lot of this stuff that the world is selling as truth and new perspective and all this other stuff. Like I would go to war if someone tried to reach my threshold with that. Yet the society freely gives their children access to all of that and gives all of these people access to their children. And unfortunately, there are predators out there. There are people in the world who are evil in their hearts that seek to destroy, that lavish in destruction. And you know, and our children are our most valued resource, and people don't even think about this.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:52

They think, oh, I'll put parental controls on, oh, oh, I'm gonna look at their phones and I'm gonna read their messages with their friends, and I'm gonna find it's no, like Matt.

SPEAKER_04: 1:14:01

It's not two young children, and I had never thought of that. Now, mind you, we don't give our children the access like you're talking about. My daughter has the Apple Watch, and it's only to be able to talk to us. That's it. Um, 11 years old, and I had never you saying it, I know that's there. There's I I get exactly what you're saying. It's there, but you saying it like you just did, that hit me at home.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:27

Well, that's and you're the protector, you're the provider, you're the provision deliverer, you know. It all comes from God, but you are tasked with that responsibility to protect this.

SPEAKER_02: 1:14:36

And it goes back to the the the I I think this is an ideology of like parents over the years and over the decades wanting to be their kids' friends. I'm I told my I've told my kids since day one, I'm not your friend. That's right. I I want to have you as an adult child, and I want to enjoy uh a vacation with you as an adult. I want to enjoy a Vegas show and five-star dinner with you as an adult. I want to have that moment, but it ain't gonna be because we're friends, it's gonna be because we have such a bond that no one can ever even truly describe it because it's our bond and and and and it's not a friend bond. And I think so many people over the last 20, 30 years decided to say, you know what, I'm gonna start parenting very soft, and I'm and I'm gonna go the way of least resistance, and I don't want my kid to be upset.

SPEAKER_05: 1:15:28

And I think that came from the broken families as an overcompensation for the other partner not being there to not wanting to not break the kids.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:35

But real quick, what where's yours, Ann? And where's yours? Because I want it one.

SPEAKER_05: 1:15:37

Mine's real simple. It is, and it's once again, it's the Jesus model. I mean, you just read it and it said, and he got up early and went on his own to pray as was his custom. This is what he did. It's I get filled up so I can pour out. It's real simple for me. So it's been a pattern for years and years and years, and it evolved since I started doing stuff at home. So that's half an hour in the sauna every morning. And it is either it's either worship and I'm flying in the heavens, and the half an hour goes by, and I just have that connection, which is really what I'm after. I'd rather do stuff with God and his presence than for him any day. And yet there's times I just sit down and I have a silly prayer that I love. I I get in there and I say, okay, it's a new day. I want to be the guitar, you be Stevie Ravon. I want to be the drums, you be Neil Purt. I want to be the the trumpet, you be Dizzy Gillespie. Just use me to do what you want to do, to touch lives you want to touch. I say, here I am. Send me. Business is not important to me. Finances are necessary. I was redeemed in the state hospital for a purpose greater than success. And that is to do in Forrest Gump's voice, to do whatever you tell me to do, Joe Sargent. I'm I'm signed up and I want to do it. So I set myself apart in the mornings during that time. It is a half an hour every morning to just get quiet, get alone. Uh, that's my reflection time. And then my other reflection time is when I blow it. I say or do something stupid as shit. Typically with my wife. My wife, my life works great around other people, but it's just with my wife that I just struggle. That's where my testing ground is. And so when I do that, instead of just stewing off, I'll go, I'll get alone again and I'll be like, okay, what woke up in me? Because she can't make me mad. She doesn't make me angry, she doesn't take me off. She said or did something that activated something in me, the disturbances in me. So what is that in me that I can ask God to bring to light that I can expose to him and ask him to take away so I don't repeat that pattern? So it's preparation in the morning in sauna, or it is as soon as I get my ass handed to me from my own behavior, I go to the principal room by myself. Yeah. And I go, okay, let me get correction here.

SPEAKER_04: 1:18:06

So mine, um, like I said, it started in the car, uh, on my drives, on my way to the office, on my way to somewhere. I'm the guy that's bumping that hard rap. I'm that guy that that's that's hitting some rock music, uh, some good country, what have you. But I need to mentally prepare myself to be the best I can be. And it music is that on the way home after the day, whatever day it is, it's in silence. It's in silence so that I can digest what took place, remember some of the conversations that had taken place, um, and be able to give the day a theme, a a a um, what did you learn today, Mark? What what what happened that was a milestone? What are you grateful for today? Um, that that is my time. Now, since I would say about two weeks ago, we just got a sauna, and now I give myself another opportunity to have that 20 to 30 minutes of sitting there in silence. You're watching your sweat come down, and each of those drops for some reason sparks another instance that took place that boom, now now my head is down that road, and it's okay. I allow myself to go down those roads when the sauna's over, boom, okay. Step out, and I don't know if any of you guys jump in the sauna, but as soon as you get out of the sauna, woo, it's a little chilly. Um, that's when that ends. It's it's kind of like back to reality, right? Okay, I'm back.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:42

You need a cold plunge.

SPEAKER_02: 1:19:43

Yeah, I cold plunge. Back and forth. Oh, I dude. Yeah. So one thing I just want to point out. Um, as I was preparing to be here, because obviously I think we're all preparers, and I think we all think okay, we went. Yeah, you no one no one wants to sit here and sound stupid and sound sound like a fool for tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people to do whatever they're gonna do. Yeah, millions. Yeah, that one this one's going viral for sure. But you know, there's a commonality, and every I think everything that we just responded to in that little impromptu question, and it was part of my preparation, which was I was doing some research and I ran across somebody who was talking about certain things that are happening in today's world, right? And they were like, let me just put it simple. There are there are two different people in the world who have two different missions in life daily. There's the one who, when they wake up, they want to feel good all day long, and then there's the other one who wakes up and all they want to do is do good all day long. Love it, and you know, like because I I'm sitting here and and I'm kind of uh forecasting a little bit. I think it would be easy and simple-minded, closed-minded, to be quite honest, for someone to listen to this and see this, because we all are connected to pretty much everybody in the real estate space here in town. I mean, let's let's just call it, let's just be real, okay? And it it takes a brave person for us to be able to sit here and share these intimate thoughts about how we see the world, right? Um, I would hope no one judges us, but at the end of the day, um, it would be of a simple mind to say, like, oh, of course those guys went together, like they're all they're all Republicans or they're all conservatives. They're all you know Bible thumpers. Like, no, like if that's if that's how you see it, first of all, I'm just gonna tell you straight up, I love you, but you're wrong. But the other part is no, like, if if someone really wants to extract the goodness of this conversation, I think we're all saying, let's just wake up, be good, and do good. And on our worst day, because we've all had them, and when we're imperfect, because we are all imperfect, we're not gonna act like we're not, we're gonna take responsibility and accountability for that imperfection, dust ourselves off and and and and and try to do good again. That's right. And and and I believe that at a simple but yet high-level approach, that's the calling. That's right. That's the calling. I I mean, if we're if we were to if I had to explain what being a good person is to a second grader, it's trying to do good. And when you don't, trying to recoup and do it again. That's right. That's looking the mirror. That's it, you know. So, and so I don't know. I just felt compelled to say that. I don't know what impression coming out of me right now.

SPEAKER_04: 1:22:28

No, I do, I appreciate that. And and I'm glad that you mentioned that piece.

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 1:22:33

Um, because, like you said, it is easy for someone on looking to say, of course, of course. Um, but at the same time, whoever that person out there is, I invite you to come on in here and have a conversation with me. Um, you would believe and those out there that have conversations with me that think differently than I do, you know already that I'm very open-minded. I will sit there and listen. I will be passionate about my views as well. But at the end of the day, right at 1111. All right. So, um, guys, we had a brief intermission there. Um, and this discussion has not only been enlightening, but it has been heartwarming to hear others that go through quite a bit on a daily basis. And I'm not saying one is greater than another. Uh, I'm just saying goes through life. We're out there doing this. We utilize social media as our tool. Um, we absolutely show to the public what we want them to see. We have a good understanding of that. Um, I think it takes a strong individual to be able to know themselves, Steve. Um, and after everything that we've discussed in here today, the good, the bad, and the ugly, uh there is plenty of good that can come of this discussion. Now, one can take what they want from it, um, but I'm hoping that maybe they take a couple of tips and pointers from this next little uh last segment, which is how do we move forward? What what can we do to safeguard ourselves from the misinformation, the the negativity, the picking aside, um, because I I'll be honest with you guys, I am so sick and tired of seeing right versus left when in fact we are all human. Um I at least believe that Mark Zuckerberg, the the the founder of s of Facebook that triggered all this social media kind of stuff, I don't think that he had bad intentions when when he created this. I don't think he thought it was gonna be this big either. And utilizing that concept in itself, what are some things that you guys believe that people out there, professionals, kids, uh parents, teachers, mothers, all of them, can do to protect themselves from being pulled into an echo chamber, pulled into a situation to where whatever they're seeing has any effect on hate. Who wants to dive in?

SPEAKER_02: 1:25:55

That's a deep one.

SPEAKER_04: 1:25:56

I know that's a deep one, but yeah, and and and you know, it is deep to a certain extent because Matt, you mentioned something that triggered this, and it was at the beginning of the this discussion, which was I used to see all of this stuff on my feeds, and now I have trained my algorithm to not show me that stuff. But you knowingly, willingly were proactive in having to do that. There's no way you were like, hey, social media, stop showing me this stuff. No, you had to say, Oh, there's another one. Not today, Satan.

SPEAKER_01: 1:26:35

Well, it was a practice in humility. Okay, you know, I I had to sit in silence and look in the mirror. I had to look at myself in an objective way, without ego, without criticism, but just who am I? And when I started asking those questions, I started not liking some of the things that the answers were coming out. You know, it it it made me uncomfortable. It it stirred something in me where I was like, Well, hang on, like that's not who you are. Like, you love people, like you're an optimistic person. You're like you're the guy that people turn to when they're having a bad day that lifts their spirits, that speaks life into them, that speaks encouragement and prosperity into them. What the hell happened to you? When did you become this angry person? When did you become this spiteful individual that wanted to see someone be punished? When like what? And it like, dude, it like I get emotional thinking about it because like I am a genuinely happy person, and to have that kind of a dark visitor with me was really something that was really profound, and um I knew it was something that I didn't want, and I knew that I had a bigger calling, I had something bigger that I was meant for, and it wasn't just professionally, it wasn't just in my personal life, it was something spiritual, and I didn't know what that was, and so for me, the road to redemption started with really holding myself accountable and saying, I don't like this, this is true. Other people can see it, even if you never saw it before, and I don't want that for myself, and I want to be a reflection of the world that I would like to live in around me. I don't want to be a reaction to it, I would like to facilitate my wishes in the world by what I do, how I behave, how I treat other people, how I speak to people. And I wasn't nice during those years. Like I was like overly eager to be rude to somebody or to seek a disagreement just so that I could intellectually best them and embarrass them in front of everybody in the hopes that it would change their hearts and it would change their spirits. And having gone down that road and taken that approach, I can tell you it doesn't work. And that's why, and I've got friends right now that are super pissed off, and I have to acknowledge their feelings because they're very real feelings that they're feeling. You know, there's no way you can see evil and not feel a certain kind of way, but I know unequivocally, without a doubt, the turning to rage, turning to anger, turning to hate, and silencing dissent and not having conversations. You know, Charlie Kirk, one of the most profound things that I've heard him say a thousand times was when we stop having conversations about our disagreements, violence violence soon follows. And unfortunately, we saw the result of that violence that happened as a result of it. And um, you know, the world's forever changed, and that's about all I have to say in that. But the last thing I want to leave with, and again, I didn't want to focus this all around Charlie Kirk, but um, one of the things that He was asked was, you know, how would you want to be remembered in your life? And he said that he would like to be remembered for his courage and his faith. And I've heard people talk about Charlie Kirk, and the biggest thing that people who knew him intimately talked about is his faith. And it got me to kind of challenging myself and saying, well, if I were to die tomorrow, would people be saying the same things about me? And outside of my close circle of friends, the answer would be no. And so that's what I've kind of extracted from these recent events is that if that's not what people would be saying about me, then I'm clearly not doing all that I can and should be doing. And I'm going to change that and I have. And I can't wait to see what the next year looks like. 2026 is going to be great.

SPEAKER_04: 1:30:48

That's awesome. That's awesome. Yep. Uh, who who else wants to jump in there?

SPEAKER_02: 1:30:52

Steve, I think you something hit you, or I felt it. You were like, you were ready to to go.

SPEAKER_05: 1:30:58

You know, I I I can boil it down to a three-step process, I think, which is trust God, fix your shit, and serve others. Period. That's how can I how can I advise someone to protect themselves, is what you said. Yes, that is correct. And I think the key is focus on what I can change, which is Steve. Period. Not my wife, not my kids, nothing, no circumstances. And I'm a freaking fixing Steve, I am 1604 and I can right now. Okay, like shit, it's a mess. People are flicking each other off, there's dust, crap. I mean, I'm under massive construction. And so what I can do is say, okay, I can work on me. What does that mean? That means if my primary purpose is to know God more as best as I can, so that I can do what he called me to do, be who he called me to be. If that's my pursuit, then there are resources and relationships I can intentionally lean into to develop that in me versus passively waiting. So there's two catalysts to major human change, and it's inspiration or desperation. Desperation, you're forced.

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 1:32:31

Inspiration, we have some control over. I can choose who to invite into my world. I can choose what to read, what to study, what to learn, to say. The most ironic part of my personal growth and spiritual growth and development, the most ironic of personal growth is that everybody around me is the beneficiary. Yeah. I'm not growing for me to be like, I have become this guru. No, I I become the best version of myself because that lifts everybody else up around me. So Mother Teresa said, You want to change the world? Go home and love your family. So I accept responsibility for me. I model that and other people. I'm not afraid to have the hard conversations with men and women and to call bullshit bullshit and to call the good the good. And and so modeling is once again what it boils down to for me. Who must I become so that I can I can help others become who they were intended to become through intentional personal growth and development. I heard I heard Gary Brecas say this not long ago. He said, aging is nothing more than the aggressive pursuit of comfort. I'm 57. I feel like I'm 21, right? I'm not in the aggressive pursuit of comfort. I'm in the aggressive pursuit of constantly looking to fail because failure is the metric that Steve Collins is pushing the damn limits. So that I'm not a failure. And that's not bad. That is that's my damn limit. Now time for a new relationship, new resource. Work on me, trust God while I work on me, be in connection with Him, whatever that looks like, and then get out of my own head and serve other people. Call other people up, work with other people, develop other people. And that's the impact I can make is modeling that. And I think anybody who does that themselves focuses on me. You quit bitching about the rest of the world. It's like, who wants change? Who wants to change? You know, well, you change. That's right. Do the hard work. And and I want to close like with what you said before I hand over to Jeff is we didn't want to make this about you know Charlie or political, and it's and it's not. I I do want to I think it's important that I get to say what I'm about to say, and that is this. Um do you have joy in your life? Do your beliefs and your life bring you joy? Do they bring you calm delight? Do you have the ability to have a conversation with another human being who believes something diametrically opposed to you and still show them courtesy and kindness and respect? If you don't, you're probably a fucking problem. Because if you don't care about a person more than you care about an issue, you're gonna run into that wall again and again and again. And it's worth examining. So fight me, oppose me. I will buy you a taco, I will buy you donuts, I will do, I will go have a cigar, we'll have a we can yell, but I'm gonna be like, God dang, I freaking love your passion. Yes, I love your passion, brother, and I can respect you as a human being, and you can believe you should believe differently than me. We were raised differently. That's right. That is a quality of a person who actually cares about other people. Yes, and I think that that's important to cultivate. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 1:36:05

I'd like to add something on to that too, because while you were talking, I was I've been kind of pondering this thought. Um, it's something that uh my pastor, I go to CBC, Pastor Ed talks about. Um, sorry. Um it but it's about the fruit of our trees, and you know, the thing that he constantly reams on is the fruit of the tree is not for the tree. The tree does not eat its own fruit. Amen. The fruit of the tree is for those that pass by it and are lucky enough to harvest from it, and there's a lot of symbolism, and it's a deep thought to really unpack because when you think about that, we're a tree. Our our purpose is to grow, to cast shade, to provide shelter, and to bear fruit. And the fruit's not for us, it's for the it's for everybody else.

SPEAKER_05: 1:36:54

I love it. And uh this is my formal apology. I love Jesus and I use sentence enhancers. Some people call it blessing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 1:37:02

Debate me. That's right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:37:04

So I can wrong you use a we all fall short of the glory, brother. Yeah, yeah. That's good. Uh, real quick. So I was at this real powerful event uh not too long ago, and one of the keynote speakers was a you know, basically saying there's a bunch of high-powered people in here, right? You know, I felt like a small fish, but whatever. Uh, it was an amazing time and amazing event. But keynote basically says, hey, you y'all need to realize like, what are you doing for self-serving egotistical reasons? And what are you not? And do you know the difference, right? And then he went on to talk about apple trees, don't eat apples. You know, they don't. And and and plum trees don't eat plums, you know, they produce as many as they can so they can impact as many as they can, right? And so to kind of go on what what you were saying, that was amazing that you just said it, because it just I just heard something similar to that very, very recently. So to go to the question, maybe to you know, tie the loop, if you will, uh, or close the loop, um, you know, what can the the the modern day family, the the person, the individual, the the the the children, teenagers, etc., what can they do in today's day to protect themselves and and insulate themselves, right? Isolate's not it, but insulate, you know, insulate, protect, you know, protect. Um couple things came to my my mind as as the gentlemen were speaking. Um, and and I have to use an example. Um, good friend of mine, very good friend of mine, says that I do a very good job of framing uh a dialogue, right? So I'm gonna frame it real quick, right? So, and and this could be like a whole nother podcast and discussion. So I don't I don't want to go down that ragged hole, but but uh and and Steve, you know, and I know this is gonna be near and dear to you, what what I'm about to mention, but I know everyone will understand this. The reason that everyone I I mean, I just say everyone, but a lot of people used to be um very interested in watching the the TV show on A E in the early 2000s called Intervention was because we were always waiting for the last 60 seconds. And I'm I'm gonna answer, give an answer by framing it by saying, What can someone do today? They can want more, they can want better. Another way for me to say it would be that they can aspire for more or aspire for better, or they can try to find aspiration. That is a word that is very seldomly used today in our vocabulary, okay? Um, and what I'm getting at is that if they want to be more hateful, they can definitely go down that road. If they want to be more productive, they just need to decide. If they want to be more fruitful in some capacity, they just need to decide. If they want to make more money, right, which I don't think any of us wake up saying we want more money. Nope. Um, I I don't I I know y'all, I feel like well, um, but if if someone wants that, they can get it. And going back to my um my analogy of of the TV show, right? Intervention, and it goes back to my previous real estate, previous entrepreneur mind, okay, which is the God's honest truth. You can want change for somebody until you're blue in the face. But the the the truth of social work, the truth of counseling, the truth of psychology, id ego, super ego, the truth of all of it is that it's internal, yes, which was why intervention was such a great show to watch, because most people didn't understand, they already knew the outcome. And it was a it was a simple question and a simple answer. Does he want it for himself? Yes, and that's when change happens. I'm sure you could elaborate for hours about this, but it wasn't until Steve was ready. Am I telling the lie?

SPEAKER_05: 1:41:13

This the wanting was seven years, the surrender was one moment. I can't do it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:41:20

Amen. You can amen. So so to go back to this whole social media thing, it goes, it's as simple as this. And and ties into what you were mentioning. Have self-awareness, audit yourself. Have self-awareness and audit yourself. Audit your social media. If your algorithm is sending you a bunch of hate speak, it's because you're consuming it. That's right. Yep. That's right. And if you want more, decide. And if you want better, decide. And if you want change, decide. That's what the person today can do. Because we're not going to stop the next version of the internet. That's right. We're not going to stop the Apple iPhone 78 turbo on steroids. Like, that's not going to happen. So we had better realize that we have full control. And I think that is missing in today's, in today's society. I don't think that people were raised or had an awakening or a moment or awareness or around or surrounded by people who will tell them, your destiny in a sense is right here. That's right. Go do it. Manipulate the world to get the outcome you want. Go mold it so you can get the final product that you're seeking, right? Um, nobody here speaks victim, not at this table. No. Nobody here speaks, you know, uh you know, woe is me, or it's cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Like nobody does that. Well, I'm hungry. There you go. Now, now have we spoken that before? Absolutely. We did. Yep. We did. But thank God there was something, someone, somebody, some energy, some whatever, that one day we all had our individual unique awakening, which was you know what, Mark? You're telling Mark. Mark's telling Mark, shut the fuck up. Stop counting all that's wrong and start counting all that's right. That's right. I choose. And I'm gonna choose to continue to amplify that. Yes, you know, and so ultimately, I think my simple answer is want more or want better and make that decision yours. Yes. So even the parents that are listening, because I have a like again, extensive social work background. Absolutely. You gotta make if you're struggling with your children right now in your home, whatever age they may be, you have to be so smart to outsmart them. You have to be so smart to make your child, adolescent, teenager in distress believe it was their decision. That's correct. Because when it's theirs, they can own it. And the same goes for the parent. That's right. And when you believe that it was yours, you're living in it now. So that said a deeper so sociological psychological approach on how you do that. You got to convince yourself. That's it. That is it.

SPEAKER_04: 1:44:19

Yeah, Jeff, thank you. Um, Steve, thank you, Matt, thank you. Um, I want to end with the following. Uh, and I'm so grateful that you said decision. And uh I believe that in today's world, why we are seeing words become the new violence is because of the lack of human experience that is not taking place where they actually experience violence to know the difference between that was a word that does not hurt sticks and stones, yeah, you know, but that punch in the mouth sure feels like something like it's a punch in the mouth. That's right. Um, but I posted something uh a couple days back, and it wasn't blood and gore, it wasn't a six-second clip about something that's gonna grab your attention, so it didn't go very far, but now I have the opportunity, and how I believe that we can, and those that are not religious, uh this this this pertains to you as well. And it is the following it is a simple pledge that says, I will let I will not let anything electronic decide who my neighbor is, I will not let politic or political violence become the norm. I will no longer let propaganda tell me who to hate, and I will never cheer on blood, I will choose sanity, I will choose unity, and I will choose to see the human humanity in the people before I see their political views. That's simple. I love it. I love it. And I think that it goes back to what Jeff said, what Steve said, what Matt said, which is we all have the power in choice to make the decision and move forward accordingly.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:11

That's what I teach my daughter. That's right. There's no rules in my house. All we have is choices and consequences, that's right, actions and reactions. If we make good choices, typically the consequence is a good consequence. It's not always, there's no guarantee, but there's never a place where those bad choices will result in a good consequence. Yeah. And so I've framed it like that with her because I want her to know that she has full autonomy. I don't get to control what she does. She is a free human being who's going to make choices that will have consequences. And it is my job to be the arbiter of consequence, good, bad, or indifferent. And when you frame it like that, you realize how much power you really have over the world around you. Yes. Like you get to decide what this world looks like just based on how you look at the world.

SPEAKER_04: 1:46:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:59

And so many people feel powerless, like, I can't do anything, I can't do anything. Well, guess what? There's good and bad in the world. You can find either one. The good's sometimes a little harder to find. The bad normally has a louder voice and a bigger billboard, but even though it is the few. But well, and that's the that's the most peculiar thing about it, is that while it is not the overwhelming force, it is the loudest noise in the room. And you know, just that prayer visual I was at the other night, perfect example. There was about five people that were there that were disrespectful, that brought hate into their heart, that were there specifically to try to trigger a negative reaction from the crowd. And there was probably at least, based on my estimates, at least three to five thousand people that were there. Not a single one of those people turned to anger, turned to hatred, turned to violence. One of the guys deserves some violence. He pushed somebody, and you know, five years ago, that would have been, I'll throw you off a balcony for doing that. Like, but the only thing the crowd did was they used their united voice and they stood and they all shared one message. This is not gonna happen here. And people need to realize that the good vastly outweighs the bad. The internet makes it look like there's bad everywhere. You know, it's the internet is nothing but a highlight reel. And if you are so consumed in the internet that you think that all of that BS that you're seeing out there is real, I encourage you to take off your shoes, walk outside, touch some grass, talk to your neighbors, talk to the people around you, do it with an open mind and a willing perspective, and then come back and tell me what you see because you're not going to find all that hatred that you think you're gonna find. You will find good people, you will find great conversations, you will find charitable spirits and hearts, you will find people that are really just enjoyable to be around. And it's so easy to get caught up in that minutia and that noise on the internet. It really is. And and and I I can speak this from like a PhD doctorate level because of how my perceptions towards the world changed and how badly it destroyed my life. And take it from me. You don't want that. Like if you change your perspectives and your mindset, your whole world changes, and then your fruit changes all of a sudden you start blossoming.

SPEAKER_04: 1:49:09

That's right. Um, gentlemen, I want to thank you um for allowing us into your lives, allowing us into your perspective, uh, your thoughts, uh, your opinions, your beliefs. Um, for those of you out there, I hope that you get something out of this, because that is our intention of continuing to run this podcast, is is not trying to change you, but hopefully something that you're seeing uh will allow you to make different decisions, uh, see the world a little bit differently. And uh if you don't believe in the conversations we're having about good outweighing evil, and uh it is contagious one way or another, bringing humor into this, just watch the Grinch that stole Christmas until the very end. Okay, that's a powerful story in itself. Um, I want to thank you. Yeah, I want to thank you guys for joining me. Um always a great time for allowing us to have the conversation. Thank you. Yeah, guys, as uh I commit to you, uh I promise we'll continue to bring you conversations that uh hopefully you can continue to learn from with other men and women and experts around our community that are willing to share it with no filter. Um, so that being said, catch you on the next one.

SPEAKER_06: 1:50:45

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