Embarking on a journey that meanders through the valleys of personal struggle and soars to the pinnacles of professional achievement, Steve Collins joins us with tales of his life's metamorphosis, a narrative as inspiring as it is instructive. From the shackles of ADHD and addiction to the liberating triumphs in real estate and personal coaching, Steve's story is a masterclass in harnessing adversity and transforming it into a driving force for success. His coaching philosophy, steeped in authenticity and the wisdom of lived experience, offers a beacon of hope for anyone navigating the often-turbulent waters of self-improvement.
The conversation seamlessly weaves through the delicate tapestry of life's many facets—leading us through Steve's seasoned insights on balancing a bustling real estate career with the richness of family life and spiritual growth. With over two decades of experience and a familial crew of seven, Steve doesn't just sell homes; he embodies the principles of leadership and personal development he preaches. He peels back the layers on the profound influence of empathy and understanding love languages in business and personal relationships, providing actionable wisdom for anyone looking to deepen connections and drive their career forward.
As we round out this enlightening dialogue, Steve underscores the pivotal role of coaching in personal evolution and the courage it takes to embrace growth, even when fear and failure loom large. He champions the idea that accountability is the linchpin of success, sharing poignant stories of breaking free from limiting beliefs and the generational echoes of scarcity. Steve's narrative culminates in a compelling call to action: to seek joy, shun drama, and steadfastly pursue the best version of oneself through the transformative power of coaching and the willingness to leap into the unknown. Join us for an episode that doesn't just paint pictures of success but gives you the palette and brushes to create your masterpiece.
Key Factors Podcast is Powered by ReviewMyMortgage.com
Host: Mark Jones | Sr. Loan Officer | NMLS# 513437
If you would like to work with Mark on your next home purchase or as a partner visit iThink Mortgage.
Embarking on a journey that meanders through the valleys of personal struggle and soars to the pinnacles of professional achievement, Steve Collins joins us with tales of his life's metamorphosis, a narrative as inspiring as it is instructive. From the shackles of ADHD and addiction to the liberating triumphs in real estate and personal coaching, Steve's story is a masterclass in harnessing adversity and transforming it into a driving force for success. His coaching philosophy, steeped in authenticity and the wisdom of lived experience, offers a beacon of hope for anyone navigating the often-turbulent waters of self-improvement.
The conversation seamlessly weaves through the delicate tapestry of life's many facets—leading us through Steve's seasoned insights on balancing a bustling real estate career with the richness of family life and spiritual growth. With over two decades of experience and a familial crew of seven, Steve doesn't just sell homes; he embodies the principles of leadership and personal development he preaches. He peels back the layers on the profound influence of empathy and understanding love languages in business and personal relationships, providing actionable wisdom for anyone looking to deepen connections and drive their career forward.
As we round out this enlightening dialogue, Steve underscores the pivotal role of coaching in personal evolution and the courage it takes to embrace growth, even when fear and failure loom large. He champions the idea that accountability is the linchpin of success, sharing poignant stories of breaking free from limiting beliefs and the generational echoes of scarcity. Steve's narrative culminates in a compelling call to action: to seek joy, shun drama, and steadfastly pursue the best version of oneself through the transformative power of coaching and the willingness to leap into the unknown. Join us for an episode that doesn't just paint pictures of success but gives you the palette and brushes to create your masterpiece.
Key Factors Podcast is Powered by ReviewMyMortgage.com
Host: Mark Jones | Sr. Loan Officer | NMLS# 513437
If you would like to work with Mark on your next home purchase or as a partner visit iThink Mortgage.
Let the journey begin. Welcome back to another episode of Key Factors Podcast. I'm your host, mark Jones, and we are powered by ReviewMyMortgagecom, the largest index of mortgage programs in the nation. And, as you guys may or may not know just yet, we are changing the name of the podcast and adding Real Estate AF. The AF stands for and finance. So as we get started today, I want to read a quick quote that I have here before I introduce my guest. So the quote goes the following I can't stand coaches.
Speaker 1:I think most business coaches are people that have tried to make a career out of something but couldn't and somehow decided that they were qualified to coach others. I think life coaches are generally people with Instagram accounts who like to inspire people but couldn't and somehow decided that they were qualified to coach others. I think life coaches are generally people with Instagram accounts who like to inspire people by copying and pasting memes that they stole from other life coaches' business accounts. Steve is a bit different. He's not a coach because he failed at something. He's a coach because he succeeded at something but found more fulfillment in helping others. Instead of one main focus to his coaching program that tries to force everyone into a same little box. Steve personalizes his coaching programs to each individual client. Some people need better time management. Some folks have great work habits but their home life is in shambles. Some people need to change their thinking about money. Some people just need to go vent. Each client is different and Steve helps pinpoint the areas in life we need to focus on to get a well-rounded life instead of just a rah-rah, you can do it.
Speaker 1:Session. That was from Kevin Crawford, broker and owner of Crawford Luxury Properties, and, without further ado, I'd like to introduce my guest, steve Collins. Hey, mark, how you doing? Great man, I'm glad to be here. It's good to have you. It's been a long time coming now and I'm excited to have this conversation with you, and I think the overall goal here is to articulate to folks not only what you do, but where you come from, where you're going and what you're all about, because me, I'm a big fan, definitely. So if you could just kind of tell us briefly who you are and then we'll go into how you got in the industry. All that good stuff.
Speaker 2:Okay, Well, I was born Stephanie. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, Is that with a Y or an IE? My pronouns are his, hers and theirs. All my babies. I love it.
Speaker 2:Well, it started interesting as a young man. I had a great time in class. I had a great time as a young child in elementary school because it was all laughter and fun and excitement, enthusiasm, Sure. In fact, my father, 75-year-old war hero, Vietnam vet, helicopter pilot guy, calls me, says hey, son, I'm on my way to your house. I got something for you. He was going through his paperwork and he found a report card from the first grade and he goes look, talks too much, making people laugh, rebelling against authority, not following instructions. He goes man, all the shit you got in trouble for you making a living doing now, Anyway. So I thought that was great.
Speaker 2:Well, but it changed when the nuns in this little Catholic school couldn't really handle that level of energy and intensity. So at that time they didn't know fully what this was. They didn't know it was ADHD, that's right. So you know, with pure motives in their heart, my folks sent me to a psychiatrist who said here's what it is, and they stuck Ritalin in me and then I zombied out and that that that light just shrunk and I think that got in my head because, for whatever reason, I was conscious at that time of a thought that maybe some kid that age wouldn't think I'm thinking what's wrong with me, Right? Why can't people just accept me for who I am? Why do I, why am I different? What's wrong with me, Like, am I, am I messed up or something that I have to take medication? And so I got off of that in sixth grade and, uh, we transferred schools and that's where I met a couple of guys who were like hey, I was literally.
Speaker 1:You know it's funny that you say that because essentially, when you were just speaking a moment ago, starting from the report card sounded just like myself, literally the same traits, the same concept of what I was thinking about, the outlook on what people were thinking of me, why, why I couldn't just sit the hell down and do what I needed to do and I self-medicated with pot it worked Well.
Speaker 2:and there you go. And I think it's not shocking to me, because I have found that the majority of above average successful entrepreneurs fit some part of that mold. We weren't created to necessarily sit behind a desk and obey all day long. It's you know. I mean, I'm born, I'm half Mexican, I'm from Texas, and you want to motivate me? Tell me it can't be done. You know, it's like hold my beer, watch me do it. And so the challenge was always I'm fine if we're having a conversation, but don't tell me what to do. And that was me from the time I was a kid. So then that's what it became All my buddies were getting high to get high and I was just to feel normal. And the problem with that is is that you have a peer group, just as critical as peer group is now for where you're headed and where you're going. I had a peer group that you know. It escalates. You have all these lines you're not going to cross. Well, we'll do that, but I'll never do math.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll do that, but I'll never do acid, but I'll never do mushrooms, but I'll never do this. And over a seven-year period of time I just went heavy into an addiction that wound up me marrying my high school sweetheart in junior year because she got pregnant. We got married for a year and then it blew up in a divorce and I wound up taken into protective custody by the legal system here in San Antonio and committed to the Texas State Hospital, dead, dying, suicidal, bipolar, manic, depressive, all of the things that would cause a guy to go. I just, I'm a liability to planet Earth. I'm just going to end it all. And in that state hospital, at 20 years old, I prayed a very simple prayer, which was if God, if you're real and you're willing to help me, I'll do whatever you want for the rest of my life. If that's greet people at Walmart, if that's sweep streets, I don't care, because if you don't show up, I'm just going to, I'm going to end my life.
Speaker 2:And you know, maybe my parents and daughter will get you know life insurance, some kind of benefit out of it yeah, something, because I'm a liability planet earth, and clearly that prayer was answered. Mission of expressing that life, the life that's available to people, that the life that's available for someone who's willing to really go all in, understanding that you are modeling for other people what is available, right, modeling for other people what is available. So, rather than living a life of immense intentional invitation of difficulty and challenge and hard things into your life just because you're trying to be something, it's, hey, what a slap in the face of my creator if I half-ass anything after setting me free from all that. So I went all in at a very early age, at 20 years old, and so I'm 55 now and the life's journey has been one of being directed to do a thing, a career or whatever it may be, and then going all freaking in on that thing until it's time to transition, being directed to another thing. So sometimes I have an idea of where it's going. Other times it takes a minute to figure out where that direction is. But I mean, I'm very, very loyal. I've been 26 years in the business and real estate. I think I've been 22 years with my buddy Craig Owen over at Keller Williams. I've been 22 years with my buddy Craig Owen over at Keller Williams. I don't bounce around a whole lot, I get solid. So that created an evolution. Craig approached me one day and said hey, you know what I'm noticing? Our market center is getting really, really big here. And he said I've always seen you investing in your marriage with Angela. It'll be 30 years this year. Congratulations, be a good father. Thank you, be a good father. Thank you, be a good father. We have seven kids. You stay healthy and fit.
Speaker 2:You're spiritually here's the word I want to use authentic, yes, genuine. I'm not wearing khakis and a polo with a bow tie at church going hallelujah, brother, how are you? I ain't judging that, that's just not me. I'm the guy that Jesus had a couple of brothers and he was like dude, oh my God, I'm going to call you the sons of thunder. What the hell is wrong? You need to bring fire down from the sky and burn people, like he hung with those guys. So I'm of that DNA and I'm not going to say that I'm going to. I'm not going to apologize for that. That's who I am, how I am.
Speaker 2:I made peace with that, and so when I looked at Craig and said you, spiritually, are here, you're locked into, you just seem to be winning in, like almost all the areas that are important. What would it look like for us to have you hand the baton to your real estate team, not either crushing it in business or life, but that you can have both and in all these areas you can be achieving a certain amount of success? It doesn't have to be sequential, you know, like Tony Montana, right In this country first you got to get the money, then you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the power, then you get the woman.
Speaker 2:That's right. The problem man with that is—.
Speaker 1:We just talked about that on the last discussion with Philip Becker. Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Well, you know and it's wild when you think about that, because maybe on the way to get the money and the power, you lose the woman and you have to start all over again. That's by experience that you can be having progress that's significant and notable in all of those areas, simultaneously with some good leadership, good direction, some tools and models and, ultimately, what some people would call coaching. I mean, the word is so played out right now, but it's spending time one-on-one with someone who's giving their undivided attention to you, asking the hard questions, drawing out of you what's in you, after you've taken the time to get crystal clear on what you think winning looks like for you specifically, and then you nail down on that and you're relentless until that person you know achieves those goals. So that's where it started being faithful. Here in town we had 650 agents at the time when I started nine years ago and we are we got as high as 1200. Then we had some market shifts but we even beat Gary Keller out. It's the largest KW in the world out of over 800 offices. And in the nine years we've been in our coaching program the people we've served have closed over 70,000 transactions for 20 billion in sales.
Speaker 2:So I mean, but more important than that, if you, if you talk to anybody who's been a part of our program, they don't say, hey, I'm making more money, only Right. They're saying my marriage is freaking, rocking. My tools for being a parent are amazing, have a powerful morning routine. I'm I'm leaning into my health and wellbeing in my fitness. I have a spiritual awareness that there's something bigger than me out there and I'm leaning into my health and well-being and my fitness. I have a spiritual awareness that there's something bigger than me out there and I'm not going to just close my eyes because I don't understand it. I'm going to pursue that. I'm crystal clear on what winning looks like for me individually and it's none of my business what anybody else thinks about me at this point. So the people that enter our world they're transformed in all areas. That makes sense. It's important to them, right? There's some folks we have some atheists, we have some agnostics who are like, I'm not interested in that, but here's what I'm interested in, and we're like let's rock and roll, we can do that too. Yeah, so it really has been a journey of becoming the greatest version of myself. I can possibly become in keeping with that promise made in the state hospital.
Speaker 2:And now the last couple of years has been now that I'm down to two of the seven kids, and they're low maintenance, they're meatheads, they love to work out. They're like dad, I'm tired, I want to go to bed and I'm like it's eight, 30, bro Go to bed, cool Cool. You know they want to work out early in the morning, they just want to eat. Bro, go to bed, cool Cool. You know they want to work out early in the morning, they just want to eat, and so they're easy. So Angela and I said what we've been deferring for our entire life raising these kids, which is growing and scaling and traveling and making a greater impact. It's time. And so, at 55, I think there's people who are looking for ways to slow down and I'm freaking. I feel like Seabiscuit behind the gate on steroids. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:As a matter of fact, my dad is your age and I'm going to have him watch this back so that he can hear just that right there. Yeah, man, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2:I hope it blesses him, man, Because you know, Gary Brekka, who's with 10X health, said something very powerful that I'd never heard before. He said aging is nothing more than the aggressive pursuit of comfort. Okay, so that's a deep, deep concept. When you think about it, aging is nothing more than the aggressive pursuit of comfort. And people get into my age like my knees hurt, my back hurts, my ass hurts. What can I do to retire? What can I do to slow down? And I'm just like what the hell can I do to blow up? What can I do to do more? How can I push myself further? How can I push this aging, whatever this thing is off?
Speaker 2:And I've been sick once in eight years, man, Really, I mean. Oh, and my morning routine would knock out the average 20. I love it before you even walk in the office. But it's all intentional, yes, and it's not that I'm superhuman. I'm just crystal clear on exactly what's important to me, exactly why it's important to me and how those disciplines create like a giant, a giant rock being thrown in a small pond. I'm completely conscious of the responsibility, of the actions that I take impacting lots of people, people I've never met, that followed stuff on social media. So I carry this weight of responsibility with pleasure.
Speaker 1:It's not a burden.
Speaker 2:It helps me to go hard because I go. Okay, man, I do this, lots of people are going to benefit. I do that, I'm going to screw a lot of people up and it just makes living right easier.
Speaker 1:No, that makes good sense. So I've got tons of questions and things that we can, I guess, articulate to folks and paint the pictures of folks, and that's what we'll be getting into. But before we do that, I do want to ask why, what drove you to getting into the real estate business as you were coming out of that whirlwind?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm so glad you put that out there. Well, there was a real struggle, um, as I was learning a new way of living okay, A church life type way of living, and and, and you know, when Jesus says to Nicodemus you must be born again, it sounds weird and churches have made it creepy, but the way I interpret that is here's what you've believed and leaned on and thought was true up to this point. You've got to shed that skin.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let me show you. Let me show you Okay, here's the perspective that's going to acknowledge you're not a human being who has a temporary spiritual experience. You're a spiritual being having a temporary human experience, and here's some principles that will work for you or against you, so you better figure it out. But again, it's like you know, the problem with the secret and all of these manifestation things is they focused on the gift and the blessing and the provision, versus focusing on the giver, the blesser and the provider. So that's the challenge I have with. That is where the focus is and the gratitude is towards. So, in this development of this spiritual life and wanting to make sure I'm doing what I feel led to do or directed to do, your higher calling so to speak, my coach, or is it more so, the why behind it.
Speaker 2:Well, I would say, you know, wanting to be faithful to an ongoing relationship with a living entity that is engaged in communicating back and forth with me. There you go. I like that. I don't do stuff for God, according to my definition. I do stuff with, like, what are you doing, papa? Let's roll, let's go. You know what I mean, and it's always a freaking adventure. So, wanting to be dialed in to where I'm being directed, I started in the car business.
Speaker 2:My dad was in the car business, same here, Became the second number two sales guy in San Antonio for the gun organization selling infinities and Land Rovers 30 years ago and I had just had my biggest month. I was one of the top sales guys at that place and and. But I had worked like 80 hours and I had just been married a few years and I'm like this sucks, I have money, I have cars, I could do whatever I want. I denied every manager job because I'm like, uh, failure leaves clues. You get a guy in management, he's gone, I earn more than him and you keep the top sales guy. So I don't want any of that, just let me sell.
Speaker 2:Well, I was reading a book by a guy named John Mason, called An Enemy, called Average Okay, okay, and it has 52 short chapters and 52 little nuggets. The guy's a man of faith. Chapters and 52 little nuggets. The guy's a man of faith and it started out by saying you can learn a lot about yourself by asking specific questions. So the question that it asked in that book when I was on the showroom floor in between helping people, was this if you could make one major, life-changing decision today and God guaranteed you, not only would it not fail, but you would succeed wildly. What change would you make? And I sat there and I thought about it and I thought this is such a funny thought. I thought, okay, what is my, what are my gifts and talents and skills? It's communicating. It's connecting. It's sales.
Speaker 1:Now let me ask was that something that you answered for yourself, or did you have outside influence helping you determine what those factors were?
Speaker 2:Well, I had a lot of people my whole life go my God, you can sell. You can sell ice cream, eskimo, you're going to be great salesman. But you know, in America we have this trippy thing about salespeople being, you know, cheesy or negative. That's right, it's a negative connotation to it. So I just used to laugh about it. But I love what my mentor, zig Ziglar, used to say. He'd say when people say you can sell us to an Eskimo, he goes that's not a salesman, that's a con man. I agree, I'm not a con man. I, if I have what they need, then I will cause the transfer of that. I love that, right. So it's a different mindset. But I've been hearing that. I've been hearing you have the gift of the gab.
Speaker 2:I knew from a very early age that I could articulate and think on my feet and communicate much more effectively than the average child or a person. And um, and it became notable to me. So when I became a Christian, when I gave my life to Christ in that state hospital and made that promise, I knew, okay, I had been given gifts and talents. And these gifts and talents at their highest and best expression are when I'm using them in service to other people. Okay, so. So how can I reach the greatest number of people? Right? So I did get outside influence, but I also knew in my own heart, because I heard so many people go my God, I'd rather be shot in the head than speak in front of people. I'm still afraid. And then there was data out there Like people would rather die than do public speaking, and I was like dude. Data out there Like people would rather die than do public speaking, and I was like dude. Let me jump on that stage and let's have some damn fun in this place.
Speaker 1:Let's go Right right. Well, to be fair in your aspect, many and I'm talking a good chunk of the population don't know yet what their strengths are or are not honest with themselves as to what your strengths and your weaknesses are, and I think that is one of the best traits that you knew early on is, I know what I'm good at.
Speaker 2:I think it's the difference maker between what Zig Ziglar would say when he describes people that people are either a wandering generality or a meaningful specific.
Speaker 2:Very good, and so I see a lot of trouble with all age groups when there's no vision for why am I here? What am I doing? 78% of the American workforce is said to be disengaged and it's probably because they're doing what they feel like they have to do to pay the bills without ever having made the courageous decision to lean into their gifts and talents and strengths. And then you and I talked a little bit we can talk a little bit about that later about how do you take gifts and talents and strengths and just magnify the hell out of them, because you have to say no to almost everything else if you're going to be really exceptional in that. So I wrote in that book because of this. That day I wrote what would I do? If my gift is communication and sales, then what industry can I potentially earn the most income and have the most control over my time? And this is a little bit of a sad reality, but I had sold cars to some realtors, sure, who were unbelievably unimpressive people. I believe I was like you make how much? This whole make a quarter minute. I'm like what you know, and I mean like dang this guy. I'm like you know this guy's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. I mean, he's Rudy's. You know, there wasn't one person where I was just like my God, I would want that person to be my realtor. I, I was like, damn, that must be what all realtors are like. But I thought, you know what, if I could bring my honesty like, for instance, you know, when we were selling used cars, people were like, well, you know, I think this car might've been wrecked. I said no, no, no, no, it was wrecked. Let me show you right here. Let been hit, but it's been repainted. But that's why Did you just tell me it was? Well, yeah, that's right. Why would I not tell you that? So that honesty, I thought if that honesty and that integrity, that excellence, I knew more about any of those damn cars than anybody on that show.
Speaker 2:I took the time to commit to a spirit of excellence. I did not want to compete, I wanted to dominate. And I don't mean that in an ugly way, not at all, not at all. But I'm saying, if I got the good Lord living in me, I better be excellent on all accounts, that's right, not only in my craft, but more so in the treatment of and care for other people around me. So it was never me competing against other people, it was me competing against me, like, how how much higher can I take this? What greater level. And in the car business, I mean, the greatest thing was, maybe you owned a dealership and I'm like I don't want to be stuck in a dealership, oh goodness. So I wrote in that book, which I still have today, I would get into real estate, just like that.
Speaker 2:Week later, guy pulls up on the lot and uh and it's uh and it's raining outside, and so none of the none of the people want to go out there. I'm like water dude. And so I go out with an umbrella. I go hey, how you doing? The guy goes hey, man, I ain't going to be buying anything today, I ain't buying anything. I said well, I ain't selling anything. So we're a good match. Dude, come on, let me get you a coffee.
Speaker 2:So I did my thing. I asked a lot of questions. I said let me show you what just came out, this infinity I30. And I pulled this car on the showroom floor, pop open all the doors in the hood. I did this ridiculous presentation. I'm like, bro, you gotta let me take you for a ride. Now.
Speaker 2:This guy was there because his flight was delayed four hours and it was across the street from the airport. Took him and it was across the street from the airport. Took him for a drive. We got back. He goes oh my God, I go. What's your favorite color, bro? And he's like green. I'm like hold up, I go in the back, I come back out and the rest is history. I just say here's what we're going to do. We're going to take your car, we're going to get the trade in. I'm back off over here. It's going to rock.
Speaker 2:And the guy was blown away. And he goes man, you would be so good in my industry. I said, well, what industry are you in? He said real estate. Boom. And I said, bro, I need to bring you this book. The guy's name was Steve Hamilton. He was the sales manager for Centex homes, okay, and I was the first person that they had brought in from outside of the industry to come into that industry and hit the ground running. In fact, at the I think they call it the Summit Awards my first year, I won first place for selling homes for a builder, for more than 100 homes sold. It was crazy for me.
Speaker 2:Now I hear my heart on this. I'm good at what I do, but I also understand that God's favor and grace is on me for a reason, and that is to model an example that greater rewards are reserved for those who are willing to go that extra mile. So that was a challenge and sacrifice to get there. Yes, 100%, sacrifice certain things. I ain't going to sacrifice my family. I'm going to sacrifice my wife, my kids. I ain't going to sacrifice my health. So there's some sacrifices that go on in terms of disciplining myself to study longer, study harder, be dialed in. You know, at such a level. One thing I hear regularly, mark, is people will say hey, man, I know you're real busy, got you hasty. And I say I'm not busy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't like that I'm not busy at all. You know what I am. I'm ridiculously intentional and insanely purposeful about every minute God's given me and I just am really crystal clear in my goals and my priorities and my strategies to get there. So what you think is busy is just me being purposeful. I'm not busy at all. I love that and it's just a different mindset.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, there's some things that I was willing to sacrifice, which was hours that I could have been behind the TV or doing other things that I just leaned into the craft. Well, that that strikes something that, um, we've talked about in a couple of different discussions before, but I want to get your take on it, and that is the concept of balance. I personally have a professional coach as well. I've had it for many years and we've kicked around the idea of balance, because that's what people that, in my opinion, that haven't reached the level of top production are always preaching about. I've got to have balance. I've got to have balance.
Speaker 1:And when we discuss that concept of balance, it's In your mind is it something that is achievable instantaneously, based on priorities, or is it something that the priorities in itself create the balance? So what? I guess let me lay it out a little bit different Should every single day be balanced Wife X amount of time, kids X amount of time work X amount of time, leisure X amount of time? Or is it prioritization? To where? This week, honey, kids, you're going to have to sit on the back burner because I've got something that I've got to attend to and I'm giving my everything to it, but next week, because I did this, I can spend all my time with you, okay?
Speaker 2:So you hit a subject where we're about to and my man just get ready for okay we're about to go. We about to go. We about to go, I mean we about to go down the rabbit hole I don't think you've ever been, because I have a revelation on this and an understanding that I've never heard another person speak about, so I think you're going to be very excited to hear this. Balance is a bunch of crap.
Speaker 1:I agree 100%.
Speaker 2:Let me just start with that. Balance is a bunch of crap. I am a word nerd. I agree 100%. So here's something very fascinating about it. So when I say balance to the average person, just like if I was to say a little puppy dog, I could say a little puppy dog to a room of a thousand people.
Speaker 2:Every single person will have a different image because we don't interpret in our mind words as letters strung together. It wasn't L-I-T-T-L-E-P-U-P-P-Y-D-O-G. We have images that come into our mind and those images create stories that we tap back into. That create feelings, okay, and a person's experience in life is based on what they're really feeling. What they're feeling is how they're experiencing life.
Speaker 2:Say, balance, the first flaw in even using that word is that most people have this image of scales of justice and define it the way you just did as equal portions of time, right, okay? So I throw all of that out and say here's what I say you don't want balance. Nobody wants balance, right? What people really crave is peace and joy while they out of balance, and that is achievable with great communication, great relationships and being dialed into what you do. Let me tell you what I mean by that. So I say you don't want balance. What you want is peace and joy while you're in balance. But see, if your wife and kids are upset and they're feeling locked out and you're guilty, that's not peace and joy. If, at work, you're overwhelmed and stuff's crazy and you're working with crazy people, you don't have peace and joy. But if I understand these two elements that are critical the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment Very good, and I marry these two together, I'm crystal clear.
Speaker 2:Here's what I do at work. Here's my 20% stuff. Here's my most important activities. The most important of these activities is this, and that's time blocked for three hours, and until that damn thing is done, everything else is a distraction. So I have a responsibility to crush that which is going to produce the results Okay. And then, when it comes to home, I have to be crystal clear on what my goal is at home. So for me, I'm going to speak for myself. My goal is to have my wife, when I come home every night, be like I mean, I want her hot and passionate for me all the time. I don't want to just, you know, get along and do the damn dishes and be. It's usually the other way around, though. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I'm usually like hey mama.
Speaker 2:But my point is is that is that I know my heart for my wife and my kids is that they absolutely know I love them and that they're the highest priority in my life. I have a sign on my door at home. In fact, I'm going to bring you a sticker. It says time to give my family the best of me, not the rest of me. I love that. So when I'm coming in from the garage I look at that and I'm like, okay, brother, game on, you ain't getting sloppy seconds up in this place. We're going to go. This is who I really am called to be. My work funds my life. Work is is my life. Let's bring it strong here. So how do you do that? Okay, well, the big game changer for me. So you achieve peace and joy while being ridiculously imbalanced. Okay, is I read the book called the Five Love Languages? Okay, had you heard of that? I have, absolutely, so this idea is and the what is it?
Speaker 1:seven dysfunctions of a team. At the same time, the focus funnel was introduced into my life and I don't know if you've heard about that, rory. Something or other wrote the book about the focus funnel. But go ahead and I'll see where that fits in with it.
Speaker 2:Here's the concept behind it, and Angela and I learned this like in our fifth year of marriage at a marriage conference. So I would come home and I'd see her beat up little car. It would be dirty, it would have trash inside, it'd be empty. I'd be, oh man, you know what? I'm going to take this across the street, I'm going to fill it full of gas, I'm going to make it all nice, I'm going to put a little air freshener in here. Woo, you know. And then I would come home hey, baby, eat tonight. She's like, oh, we'll figure something out.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, girl, I've been going all day, and so she was always trying to hug on me and touch me and I was always doing stuff for her. And so what we learned in this seminar is that the challenge is we receive or feel loved when one of five particular things is happening either acts of service, doing something for you. Words of affirmation you're still special, confirming that, yep, right. Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts. And physical touch, okay, okay. And each of us here's the problem gives it to the people we love the way we like it. Ah, and we may be shooting blanks if that's not their love language.
Speaker 2:So what they told me and Angela said okay, angela, steve just wants some food when he comes home. He don't need no hug, no kiss, he needs, he needs some food. And Steve, angela doesn't give down about her car, she wants you to come up and hug her. I'm like I saw hold up when I walked past her car and they say don't just go upstairs and hug your wife, and angela have food prepared for your husband when he comes home right, don't be trying to chase him down and we're like oh, that sounds like a bunch of you know I don't know.
Speaker 2:So the first week I'm like walking past the car cringing yes, right and uh. And I go upstairs and I'm like hi, I love you. And she and I'm like hi, I love you. And I'm like what, what's that smell? And she's like es, fidel, I'm like I, mama. And so now we, okay, seven kids later, right, but what I'm saying is no TV in the Collins household.
Speaker 2:What we say about that is that it's not natural, it's not easy, it's a commitment and a discipline. In my opinion, it's a true form of love, because you're doing something by faith for them. That hits their bullseye but not yours. But after a little bit of time the effect is such that you start looking forward to it now. Now here's the funny thing. 30 years later they switched. Ah, I come home and she's like hey, what are you going to do for me? And I'm like can I have a hood? You know what I mean? It's now your cup has been filled. Acts of service.
Speaker 2:So I learned that for each of my kids, cause I'd come home and like wrestle with each of my kids and like four of them were like bro back, like, so I learned for each of my kids what's the love language. So that's how it translates. When I come home, I have stuff I've done for Angela. I go to Tori and we talk about her day because it's quality time. When she was home with Steven, it was physical touch, we would wrestle. When it was Ella, hers was words of affirmation, I would talk to her about it. When it was AJ, it was physical touch we heart. When it was AJ, it was physical touch we would wrestle. When it was Josh, it was receiving gifts. Hey, buddy, look what I brought you from home. So my time not balanced, not balanced. My time with each kid, maybe three minutes, but I hit the freaking bullseye in their heart.
Speaker 1:That was like dad is freaking awesome, dad loves me and I think that at 100%, and I think the the one thing that was not spoken but was totally articulated here, that gets all of these things to tick in the right buckets, is the communication piece. You guys needed to be clear in your communication, set the right expectations of what you actually want out of this before, instead of having you, steve Collins, guessing, because you don't know unless they communicate.
Speaker 2:And being hungry for personal growth and personal development. There's no diploma for this, right? You know I'm saying you got a PhD, awesome, I don't know what I got, but it ain't ever stopped, right, we're talking hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of books, seminars, and I'm so grateful for Angela because she has that same insatiable desire to be the very best version of herself. So we found ourselves seeking opportunities to learn and to grow, inviting difficulty into inviting a seminar where we might be uncomfortable or frustrated or stressed out. We welcome the things into our lives, because here's another one that I think will bless your heart, man.
Speaker 2:So almost everybody I know was told by their parents with a pure heart at some point mijo, just do the very best you can. That's all you can give us. Okay, you can't do better than you know in your heart. If you're doing your best, okay. So do your best. That's all we can ask of you. We can't ask anyone. And then we go into the world knowing when we've really done our best and when it's not working out, we can throw in the towel, right. So here's the powerful coaching question I bring to all of our clients when you, from your heart, can say I've done the best I can in my marriage. Mark. I've done the best I can. It ain't working. I've really given it my best. There's nothing else I can do. I'll say okay, mark, you've done the best you can, now what's the best that can?
Speaker 1:be done. I love that, yes, and you hit. You hit a great point that most people don't get to experience or go through or fail at, so to speak, because they're not looking for solutions on how to get better, on how to increase that. Yes, that may have been my best until I was challenged a little bit more, until I was shown that someone just like myself can take it further. What was the difference between me and that person?
Speaker 1:Well, they were challenged, they were pressed, they were shown that, instead of thinking like this, you can think like this, the concept of, hey, think outside of the box, well, not if I've got a big box to think in. And what I mean by that is essentially the experiences, the cravings that we have to, the desire to want more for yourself. Right, I like the fact that you presented the idea of just do your best, that's all we want, and trying to achieve someone else's best or expectations of you. That's unobtainable. But do you truly know what your best is? Until you've pressed yourself to failure and gotten the help and assistance on what's the next step? How do I push this further within my possibilities with? I can't read or write, but I'm a damn good speaker Okay, great, let's leave the writing and reading to somebody else. You go out there and fine tune your speaking to the best of your ability. Concept.
Speaker 2:I agree completely in in the sense that you know, uh, it's, it's easy and comfortable to make peace with. Um, well, that's how grandpa was, that's how daddy was, so that's how I am, and I'm like, nah, it didn't have to be that way.
Speaker 1:You ever hear uh, if you always do what you always done, you're always going to get what you always got 100% Like I had.
Speaker 2:There are limiting beliefs that occur during the first eight years of life that psychiatrists and psychologists say you're born a blank slate, but you get programmed by your authority, figures and people around you. So I'll give you a great example of how I used to self-sabotage in real estate. My grandmother, bless her heart, lupita Aguilar, spent a lot of time with her on the South side of San Antonio and anytime I would see something really cool like a Lambo or a Ferrari, I'd say grandma, look at this car. She'd go mijo, pray for them. They're stealing from people.
Speaker 1:Pray for them, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, and I'm'm like what?
Speaker 2:why, you know, and I'm like, hey, look at that cool house me, ho, pray for them. They're stealing from people. Why? Why do thieves got to have all the cool shit? Yeah, right, good point. And and it was really confusing to me, but here's how it played out in my head when I first got into real estate, you know, uh, when I first got in, the average sales price in san antonio was 110. All right, I think we're getting close to 400 now.
Speaker 2:And and when I would hit about 10 g's a month, which you know 25 years ago was was like pretty a lot of money, yeah, and I would shut down and self-sabotage and I never knew why. I could never figure it out. That was your best at the time I did. You know, I had a limiting belief. There you go, program. That was no, my best was insane, bro, I believe it. But it couldn't come out because a program in my head cause they're programming affects your thinking. What you're thinking about affects your feelings and most people, sadly, will depend on their feelings to take action or not and get a result. So so when I'm, when I was looking at that, I would just feel freaky and I would pause, and it wasn't until I did now another pursuit of growth therapy that they said I think you have a limiting belief around finances. And we dug deep into it and I nailed it down to that Okay. That's when Zig Ziglar showed up in my life and said this personal quote you can have anything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. So then I tied abundance of wealth to abundance of service and it changed the game for me and that's what I went from $10,000 months to $100,000 months and things just blew up and I made peace. But here's what it boiled down to market boiled down to this in my heart of hearts.
Speaker 2:I knew that if I started making money, my, my program was everybody's going to see me as a thief and a bad guy like my grandma, and it wasn't until the year that she passed away. We had a long conversation that I learned when she and my grandfather were kids. They picked cotton in the valley and their parents picked cotton in Mexico, and the only time her parents saw evidence of wealth nice cars and houses were the people who owned the land that were taking advantage of them. Taking advantage of them. They're hurting me and my family. That got passed on to my grandma, that got passed on to my mama, it got passed on to me, but it stopped with me, thank God.
Speaker 2:So with my kids I started saying when they'd see a Lambo or Ferrari I'd say, oh, victoria, look at that. I said I'll tell you what. You see the woman driving that car. That woman probably helps a lot of people. She probably has a very successful business. She's probably changing people's lives, man. She's touching lives. She's making lives better, baby, and they're like Ooh, and I'm proud to say at 17, she got in the business and her and her team, the Maloof team, will do 500 transactions this year. You know Scott's first hire, his first day as a realtor, is my first day as his coach nine years ago, and I've watched my daughter bloom. I've watched my kids bloom with this new revelation that abundance of income is attached to abundance of serving Correct Right.
Speaker 1:So we changed that and that's a trajectory changed that and that's a trajectory that's so funny, right there. This, uh, in itself is again another confirmation of, of the of the journeys that that we are taking in the in the paths, and how similar people that are out there live different lives, but we tend to gravitate or follow in the footsteps of others that we're trying to emulate, but we don't know truly what each individual stories are. But then you take a step back or you actually get in a room with someone.
Speaker 2:You go, holy shit it's very similar, isn't it interesting? Very much so it is. And so how do you, how do you create a group or a tribe of people who want to see you win as much as you want them to win? And that's been for me, the biggest blessing is I've surrounded myself with coaching clients who want me and our coaches to win as much as we want them to win. So when I call, I'll give you.
Speaker 2:For instance, there was I had a big week ahead of me and I had a son that was going through some real challenges and his love language is quality time, and I really felt it was a Sunday night and I just felt something in my spirit. I'm like man, I mean, he's isolating. There's all these little signs. So I told Angela, I said, hey, would you be cool if I took him out of town for a week? She goes, he's not going to go, he wouldn't go with you, you know. And I said, well, let's just see. You know, I had that sense that leading. So I approached him and I said, hey, man, what do you think about you and I flying out of town tonight and just getting in nature for about a week? And you know he got real teary eyed he goes let's do that, dad, let's do that. And I was like, wow, okay. So we got tickets to Tahoe that night for me and him.
Speaker 2:I called every coaching client hey, here's what's going on. And then we took off and when I came back the next week for my coaching appointments, four clients said the same thing. I just said, hey, I'm sorry. I. I just said hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I did that at the last minute. We missed our coaching appointment. They said I did not miss a coaching appointment. You literally modeled for me how to put God first, your family second, business third. Wow, that was my coaching appointment. You making that decision to go away with your son that solidified and changed our relationship and the trajectory of his life. That one week to do that, which, the grace of God, real estate, freedom of schedule, abundance of finances all of those things play together for you to really take those risks and those chances and just the liberties that come with serving a lot of people. So being surrounded by people who want you to win, I think is a huge, huge deal.
Speaker 1:Well, that and the concept of having enough cojones to take that risk in letting your customers at the time, your students, your pupils taking that risk on saying, hey, I've got this life event that I need to take care of right now, and some of them could have said, ooh, you know, this is unacceptable and from your concept or from your perspective, and who you are thus far that I've learned, would have said then we're probably not a good match or not a good fit in in, in all honesty, yeah, 100%.
Speaker 2:You know, I I think, if there's anybody that I had one guy that came to me from another brokerage and he was like. He was like hey, man, well, my last coach was able to, he charged too much and you're too expensive. And I said, no, bro, you just can't afford me. I love that. It ain't an expense problem, it's an income problem. Yeah, okay, and so I can help you with that. And he's like man, what are you talking about? I talked to this coach and he'd said he, your business, good job. Yeah, is that smart? Like? So what I hear you saying is you want to coach who's weak and doesn't have the skills to defend their income. And then he came back and I go, hey, we ain't a good match, baby, that's right, it's okay.
Speaker 1:Hey, you know what? I'll save you some more money. Just jump on YouTube, you'll be fine.
Speaker 2:I, I, I, you know I. I don't I'm intentional about not being around drama or anything that causes me to experiencing anything less than like joy for myself, Like I want to be around people and experiences and events that light my fire, because I've kissed death's face multiple times, man, multiple times, and nobody has time for that kind of drama, you know.
Speaker 1:You're right, and I think the underlying fact of this matter and what you're discussing or what you're giving us right now, is showing people that they do have the choice to choose I will bring that to my life or I will not stand for that in my life, and it is totally up to us individually to make that choice. Are you going to allow things to compromise your plan? Are you going to allow your time to be sucked from something that adds zero value to your life, adds zero joy to your life? Zero value to your life. Add zero joy to your life. It's up to you, and a lot of folks believe that things happen to them instead of they happen and you deal with them.
Speaker 2:Happen for me is another level. I like that. Yes, this is happening for me. That's right For my growth, sure, and and well, you're a hundred percent right. And I think that, when it comes to the idea of how we interact with others, you know.
Speaker 2:So I did this thing. I did a live video every day on Facebook for about five years. I did a personal quote every single day, and one of those quotes is if you compromise your values to get what you want, you're going to live a compromised life to keep what you've got Okay. Yes, you want you're going to live a compromised life to keep what you've got Okay. So I'm very conscious of the fact and I think I put it on some of the notes we put out here, like what does God, family and business look like and feel like in real life? And everybody's got their own concept of what that is. I've always said people who have an issue with God don't really they have an issue with someone that they felt associated with God and represented him very poorly. The way I look at it is if God had a desk in heaven, my picture would be on it, baby, that's how we roll.
Speaker 1:You said that, nick. I envision the Hasselhoff famous picture, exactly, man.
Speaker 2:And so I just have this concept that you know I really can't mess this thing up. I'm always going to have somebody having my back, which gives me a lot of liberty to move in directions without fear. As you touched on earlier, a lot of people are afraid of failure, and the truth of the matter is failure is the metric of success for the person committed to personal growth.
Speaker 1:Let's go over that, because that, that in, in my opinion, is the biggest. That, because that that in, in my opinion, is the biggest. Um. Is it a concept? Is it a a, a lesson? Is it something that we will continue to gain as we move further or push further? I should say in this life that we live Um and the idea behind what people these days have, this massive idea that failure is so bad. I don't even want to experience failure at the thought of what it's like to fail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but I think there's some truth to certain things, some truth to certain things, and I believe that, particularly in the American school system, um, and the agendas originated with a way to prepare kids to follow instructions and sit behind a desk for eight hours a day.
Speaker 1:I mean the idea of go to school, make good grades, get a good job, live a good life. That's been preached for how long?
Speaker 2:As long as I can remember, as far as the nation goes, entrepreneurs, creatives, problem solvers, little rebels were not celebrated. They were tolerated and punished.
Speaker 1:AKA ADD ADHD Right yes sir, here you go.
Speaker 2:At a very early age, we as children learn fail is bad, pass is good, and I wish I knew who said it so I could give them credit. But they're like okay, here's how it really works in the real world. The straight A students work for the B students who are their managers, the B students work for the C students who are in upper echelon and the C students work for the DNF students whose name is on the building. That's right. That's right, okay, and I'm like that's intense when you think about it that way. But when I look at it, I think that there's a lot that happens in youth that sets the course for a way a person's mind is going to be fixed, unless one of two things hits them, like Mike Tyson, and that is inspiration or desperation hits them, like Mike Tyson, and that is inspiration or desperation, and even that concept in itself to your point.
Speaker 1:You can be inspired once and it could change something, but it's not going to be something that is a consistent belief in that. It's a constant inspiration, inspiration, inspiration or something that is deep enough that gets you fired up to keep that going. Because a lot of people will go to these get you pumped up seminars. They'll go to these different types of give you this, pay, this fee to get pumped up for a bit and most have to go back to another one and another one, and another one where the idea is take that stuff that they gave you and go incorporate it in your life.
Speaker 2:That's where coaches show up? Yes, very much. So I know for you, for me, I mean, at one time I had eight coaches because it was that important to me to excel in those. And you know Zig Ziglar, his son Tom. We were chatting and he said dad learned way too late in his life.
Speaker 2:They did an interview of thousands of people after Zig's death and they asked one simple question what about Zig changed your life? Now, get this. He was a speaker. That's what he did, right, he also wrote 35 books, but he was a speaker. 1% of the people said it was his speaking that changed our life. 1%. The other 99% said it was his books and tapes and stuff that we listened to again and again and again that changed our lives.
Speaker 2:So I think if Zig knew today what he knew back, then he would probably speak and then say now, if you want to to what you said, you want to make sure you're going to put this into practice and give yourself a chance to really be transformed. You're going to want to have accountability every week around the actions and activities and mindsets and the support for you to actually consistently execute. Because he used to say something else, a lot of his life of. He said anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can do it well. And so we lose a lot of people on the path of well, I'm not getting the results. I'm not seeing how many people join the gym in january every year. You know that's their busy season 100 sit-ups and I ain't got six back. And I'm like, bro, like you've been in the gym a month yeah, you weigh 300 pounds, like we need a couple of years with you.
Speaker 2:That's right. But my point is is that we get discouraged and if we don't have accountability in our lives, if we haven't said I'm willing to give an account and be inspected by another human being that I respect and trust, who I may be paying, you know, and investing a significant amount in to to come into my world for that to help me stay on track, the chances of people continuing that execution, even if they're highly motivated and inspired, are not good. But then the other was the desperation. See, desperation is a tough taskmaster. When desperation shows up, hey, the guy who won't stop drinking and his wife threatens to leave and he won't stop drinking comes home and the house is cleared out that man might show up to AA, he might be ready to make a change. Because desperation said hey, buddy, you're going to write me a blank check.
Speaker 2:There was a big enough risk in losing something 100%, is that something significant happens and that's a catalyst for life change. So I think you asked what it was. I'm going to answer that question according to what I believe. I believe it's a philosophy of life. If my philosophy is, failure is like if I'm trying to lose weight and I have a scale, my measure, my metric for how I'm doing is the number on the scale Right. If I'm committed to personal growth and development, being the best version of myself, the metric and measure of that is failure. Because that says, bro, it didn't work, you're not there yet. You didn't work, so let's try this. It didn't work, let's try that, let's try this. And it's that willingness to interpret failure. And another thing Zig said he's brilliant Failure is an event. It's not a person. You're not a failure. I like that. It didn't work.
Speaker 2:Thomas Edison how did it feel to find 10,000 failures and creating the light bulb? I didn't fail 10,000 times, man. I discovered 10,000 ways. It didn't work. That's right, that's it. You know, there was a commitment to fulfilling that vision for him and so everything was just an iteration that didn't work. It wasn't. Oh, my God, I'm a failure.
Speaker 2:But I think that's where people get caught up. Number one they don't even want to take the chance because of fear, because they don't want to be seen as a failure, because they remember what it was like to be a kid that got the F on the test as a kid, you know. And so there's an aversion to failure as a bad thing from the time we're very, very young. So it takes real work and relationships like this, I think, for somebody to to go bro, how are you doing today, man, I'm freaking failing. Bro. Oh, you, lucky son of a bitch, I'm winning.
Speaker 2:You're failing. Tell me more about that. God dang, man, I wish I was failing. You must've discovered something new. Am I comfortable? Like dude, come on, it's a whole different level when you have people can't hear those conversations because they'll think you're crazy. And that's the kind of conversations I like to have with people is is share with me how you are blowing it. Tell me the last time you went home and just broke down, bro, like, what are you breaking down over right now that you're really pushing the limits? And those are the conversations I want to have, I like that I really like that.
Speaker 1:Now, going back to, let's say, our, our, our, our topics of discussion, the concept of coaching. I know how you got into coaching, but I want to know from you and I think I know the answer, but there's probably a better way that you're going to put it Coaching as a concept, as a let's say what do you want for Christmas? I want coaching. Okay, is that something that is a necessity, in your opinion, if you are a salesperson, or if you are any person for that matter life coach, business coach, et cetera or is it something that is a privilege?
Speaker 2:Okay, and the reason?
Speaker 1:why it's that okay is because you will have some coaches that say I'm not in coaching or I have to stop coaching because I'm not making enough money to pay for coaching. Then you have others that say you're not making enough money to pay for coaching because you're not doing the things that I'm coaching you on.
Speaker 2:I think all of it is valid, mark, and because I'm a word nerd, the words you use like is it a privilege, is it something that should happen? I look at coaching this way, along that old adage that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I think inspiration or desperation shows up on a regular basis for somebody and then they become aware to the fact that there are resources or relationships available to them if they want to take it to the next level. So I see it like an opportunity, if I had to use that word. Coaching is an opportunity for a person to explore just how big their life can get, with the freedom of firing the damn coach if it's not happening for them. Because there's two things that happen in a coaching relationship Either it's a poor coach, maybe with a big heart but not the actual skills or the balls to call stuff out and being willing to be temporarily uncomfortable because of the pain you put on the client so that they could grow in that moment. There's a lot of people not willing to do that, okay, so. So when, when somebody is in that type of a relationship, I see there's opportunity in there for someone to say, okay, look, this isn't working for me, I'm out, I'm going to try somebody else. I did that.
Speaker 2:I fired my first three coaches on the very first call, within the first five minutes. Okay, because they called. They were like okay, so here's what we're going to do. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like you don't even know me, you just lost with me. I mean, I literally said you just lost with me. What do you mean? I mean you're fired, click, hung up the phone Like what kind of it may be? Talk to me like that, like I'm a grown ass man with seven kids, man, you know. I mean don't? They just didn't take the time to ask any questions or learn, just came in Like I know something, right.
Speaker 2:So I tell clients who are ready to have a coaching relationship. I said, look, I have an intentional persona. That's not who I really am in the marketplace, my intentional persona. There's a reason I carry the Spartan helmet and a sword. There's a reason I have the vibe and energy that I have because I don't want anybody coming up to me going, hey, I was thinking one day maybe I… no, no, I want somebody to say, bro, I'm ready, I'm ready. Now I want to serve the hungry. I'm not trying to raise the dead right. So I eliminate a lot of riffraff from people who are not certain about what they want to do by just having that intense persona. Because people know when they come to me they're like okay, I've made the decision, let's do this right.
Speaker 2:But I tell them this the first thing Mark, I ask them have you ever seen the Godfather? Absolutely, they have. I said okay, I need you to understand something. You're the Godfather in this relationship. I'm Robert Duvall. I'm sitting on the couch. I'm your consigliere. Okay, you're the boss, right? We're going to find out the things that are most important to you. We're going to go dig deep into that. We're going to create a crystal clear vision for where your life can be a year from now in each one of these areas on this wheel of life. What a 10 looks like for you exactly. Because you probably can't articulate it to me right now unless you've done this work and we're going to get crystal clear on that. Then we're going to put a plan together. Make no mistakes I'm not here as the Godfather. You're the Godfather. You're inviting me into your world to help you accomplish your goals, not for me to push you or make you do anything.
Speaker 1:And I love that, and that is also the reason why I started this discussion off with reading Kevin Crawford's testimonial.
Speaker 1:Yeah, find that there are coaching programs that have their coaches coach you according to the agenda, that they have the syllabus or the structure, the needle moving activities that they have designated as what is going to help you as an individual, but by the masses. I believe that that is incorrect from the get go, just like the couple that you have fired immediately. Why? Because they don't know who the hell you are, they don't know what you're about, they don't know your goals, they don't know what's going on in your life. They've got to do a good deal of listening and asking questions and it's very similar to what we experience in our business and what's not happening in our business, which is the high trust interview. It's time for me to talk to you, to get to know you, to understand what the hell your goals are, what you're currently capable of, how far you've taken it, what's holding you back in your mindset, so that I can formulate the plan according to your expectations.
Speaker 2:Brother. You crushed it in a succinct statement Prescription without diagnosis is malpractice. And that Are you trying to prescribe? You didn't even, Steve. You took no notes.
Speaker 1:That's in my opinion. What is happening in our industry as a whole, both on the real estate and mortgage side of things, is we've had a slew of low-hanging fruit situations, and we're talking from 20, maybe 2019, even before the pandemic, from 20, maybe 2019, even before the pandemic, up until now. This point it may be the past, maybe year or so when rates start coming up. People have to understand that this is not just to throw it against the wall, make it stick, reach in the barrel and pull out a fish concept. They're forgetting the initial conversation with their borrower, to where they ask questions, listen to be able to provide the recommendations and expertise that obtain or that pertain to their situations. Not I'm going to take your application and put you in that box.
Speaker 2:Right, I agree completely. Well, and I think the reason behind that is crystal clear to me as a communication aficionado, and that is it is much easier for an agent to go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, let's go. Then it is to say so, mark, let me ask you a question have you sold a house before? Talk to me about what that agent did that you absolutely loved and I'm taking copious notes, and it's printed out and it's a system. What do you feel like they could have done better? I mean, we have created a voice, a seller questionnaire. That here's. Here's nine out of 10 appointments just the seller question.
Speaker 2:Steve, you ready to look at our house? Bob, I'd love to look at your house, but here's the thing I'm not worried about selling your house, not because it's become less tedious or complicated. I've just gotten a grade at it over the years. What I'm really concerned about is creating a five-star, world class experience for you and your family. Okay, and the only way I can do that is by learning a little bit about you. So here's what I would love to do. I'd like to ask some questions to make sure we're going to be a great match. Or maybe we're not a match. Okay, and if at the end of that conversation, you're comfortable and confident that I'm the guy to help you, then we'll walk through the house and I'll take notes of everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, would that be okay.
Speaker 2:Well, why wouldn't we be a match? Well, I've helped people in the past, bob, that have said hey, steve, we have a foundation problem, but we're not going to disclose that because we'll get a low ball offer. I'm not going to, okay, fantastic. And then we take the time 90% of the time. No, cma, you don't know me, you don't know nothing about me. You don't know nothing about my. When I get to the end, do you have any questions for me? No, man, you're my guy, you're my guy. What do we do? And no price has been discussed. I'm talking new realtors that we coach with. This method allows them to understand exactly what is important to the client, because a value proposition is only valuable if it's valuable to you, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 2:You know I can have 20, but there may be two things that are important to you. I can talk about the 20. That's right. The other 18 will show up as I'm serving you, but I get to dial in on. 18 will show up as I'm serving you, but I get to dial in on you just basically told me and taught me how to create a conversation with you. That's important to you, not my agenda, like the coaching. So we do have a five-step structure that we stay within.
Speaker 2:But I've told the coaches this use your discernment at any given time, because if you sense something is going on, you have my full permission to say hey, mark, it seems like there's something else going on. Do you want to maybe talk about that? Man, I'm going through some stuff with my wife right now. Okay, mark, this is your time. This is sacred time. Man, would you like to dig into that for a little bit, because I have a lot of resources that might help. I would like to spend that time because, see, your business will only grow to the extent that you grow, yeah. So why am I going to focus on? Mark? You need to make more calls, just make more money, and then your wife will be happy. Yeah, fool, you don't know. Right, you know I may need a resource right now that I've told coaches take the damn day off, go buy some flowers, go tell your wife we're going out to Eddie V's tonight. Drop a couple hundred bucks, take her on a damn date tonight. That is your coaching appointment. Transform, transform them. You know what I mean Made a difference.
Speaker 2:And so I remember when I was coaching I had the privilege of coaching you had Robert Elder on here and Stephanie Paxton. I would like to say I had the privilege of introducing them too, man, and I will tell you. So I was coaching Stephanie. She was, she was wigging one day she, because, man, she's awesome, she is a, she's a fire, absolutely firecracker. And I said here's your coaching for the day Put the top down in your damn car and go for a drive very, very fast. She's like for real, I'm like for real. I got the call later that afternoon. I'm ready to go at it again. So you know there's a structure that we go within, but then there's also the what I have told my coaches. If you have a sense about it, honor that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Almost reminders of why you're doing it, that that feeling of it is possible to let go controlled and get to that point to feel that joy that you're talking about.
Speaker 2:And I hope you saw I asked permission. I hope you saw I asked permission to say so. Okay, Mark is, is this something you want to spend some time on it? You might just say, nope, I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Bro, let's just go to this.
Speaker 2:But the fact that if we didn't ask about that, I feel like it's violating that trust that our clients have, that we're absolutely tuned in to what's important to them. But then me surrounding myself with coaches who have one quality the litmus test for being a coach in our program is these have to be people that proved to me financially and historically how they've invested in themselves and how they're pushing the limits and how they're living it period. If they're not doing that, I don't want them in my world because I don't think there's integrity in that. So that's been the biggest challenge for me growing coaches at a higher level, because I have a lot of people who have a good heart, who want to do things. But I'm like, bro, you're out of control. Like you got some challenge, you got some issues. You're not even working on those yet.
Speaker 1:Let me see that you're putting the time in Show me that you're doing that so that you, you have the courage that can come out of you to speak to that yes, and what's at 100% and what's funny is the response, or or the concept of what you just articulated there almost co coincides with what we originally discussed in the beginning on the love language and speaking to your family and knowing what they want, what makes them tick, what makes them feel good in the idea of speaking with a customer. How the hell are you going to please this customer if you have no idea what the hell pleases them?
Speaker 2:I think that you just nailed it, man, we can't ever assume that it is money only. You know, I remember probably 23 years ago it was a crazy market and there was a house over off of Tezl and I had clients who wanted to be in. I think it was called Forest Oaks and and there was nothing showing up in there. And the guy calls me. He goes like they're putting up a sign in the yard right now. Hey, I want to buy this house, this is the one, I don't care what they're asking for it. So I called and the realtor said look, called. And the realtor said look, I've already got three contracts. They just wanted to sign up. And I said okay, we got a fourth. Well, I don't need a fourth, they're all over asking price. I said hey, listen, hold up a minute, buddy, I have a responsibility. If you haven't presented to the seller yet, I want to throw mine in the hat. It was okay. I said can you do me one favor? Why is it coming on the market, will you tell me? And he said she bought the house original, she'd been married 60 years, her husband passed away and she has family down here trying to decide what to do. I said when did he pass away? And she goes? Last week. I said, hold on a second. She's been in that house her whole life with her husband. He passed away last week and she doesn't know what she's going to do right now. And they said, well, she's got a very strong willed daughter from California, that's an attorney that wants her to move there. She's got brothers that want her to move here and I'm like, okay, I'm sending the offer. I advise my clients. We did just asking price but we wrote into special provisions. We want to honor Mrs Johnson and the difficult time she must be going through right now. We are prepared to close on this house and Ms Johnson can stay in this house up to six months free of charge until she feels peace about her next decision.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the second highest offer was 20 grand. That highest offer is 20 grand over. Yeah, the realtor. We got the deal clearly and it was a broker, not a realtor. It was a broker that owned one over there, ed Bartlett. He said I've never seen anything like this before. She turned down the extra 20 grand. I go bro, she didn't need money. She needs someone who would understand where she was at. It was a risk being it, but I had a good feeling. I think that demonstrates how important it is to understand the other side.
Speaker 1:And with that being a risk, it was a calculated risk based on your experience and level of understanding that you're dealing with another person. That person has needs, feelings, wants, et cetera, et cetera, that when you're coaching, articulating this situation that occurred that you can now coach on, is being able to show that person that's never experienced. That I call it. Hey, don't step on that same landmine that I did right.
Speaker 2:Well, I have so much shrapnel. Does that make sense? So much shrapnel.
Speaker 1:Yes and it allows you to. I don't know? Yes and it allows you to, I don't know? With. Without hesitation, show the way. Why? Because I lived the way, I walked that path already and this is what matters to someone, not what you read in this book, but actually face to face, having conversations, experiencing what people go through and understanding that, hey, this takes priority over this in some situations, and that being the lady's level of understanding in someone else, knowing what she's going through. No, we don't have to have gone through what she's gone through, but you can have empathy for her situation level of understanding and know that if she wanted more money, guess what She'd have come back and said, hey, make the offer higher.
Speaker 2:And you know what he else? He told me everybody was competing for the quickest closing and I was like they don't even get it, like she needs that. And my client said, would we make payments for six months? I said, hey, do you want the house?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And uh, they said yes, and I said she won't be there six months. She was gone in two weeks, you know, and it was that was way before the closing. But I agree with you completely, it's a, it's a natural thing, I think, for people to talk. It's a skill that can be developed. To really listen well, yeah, well, without the intent to respond or to manipulate, but to truly understand, because I think if a person is truly understood and heard, it shifts the energy in the relationship and especially in real estate.
Speaker 2:It's sad that a lot of realtors have one face for their clients and another face for other realtors, and so everybody we coach I'm like you will treat your colleagues with the same high level of professionalism and respect that you treat your clients. They're no different. Whoever remains calm win. As a professional, you don't get an off day if you're a professional until it's your day off. Okay, so you just roll. You are.
Speaker 2:You are two types of realtor. You are a realtor or you are a professional realtor, and a professional realtor is able to maintain a level of self-control and emotional intelligence when another realtor is going nuts, when another realtor's condescending or being ugly. You don't have to play that game. You know, you keep your cool, you model what it looks like to be a true professional and so when we're coaching we even dial into all of those intricate details.
Speaker 2:And I think in the years that I did real estate because that's the way I treated other realtors stepping in the coaching role allowed me to become very well received by all the different brokerages. Even though I've been affiliated with KW which, by the way, newsflash we're an independent organization. I don't work for Keller Williams Heritage, craig's just my buddy for 25 years, but we're an independent S-corp and as we go national and branch out, as of two weeks ago, I've got Craig's blessing. He said I made peace with it. We're a broker agnostic and we can help anybody and everybody and that's our intention to take the things that we've been beta testing for nine years at this market center and then spreading that out across the nation, because I think there's a need for real professional realtors?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, I agree 100%, especially in this market and the way things have changed or evolved in what we're doing with technology, ease of access and all the things that consumers who don't fully understand what we do have access to. So, man, that being the case, holy cow, so we've gone, jc, what are we at? Time-wise 16. Okay, so we've gone an hour and 16 minutes and I haven't asked any of the damn questions on here. That's good shit.
Speaker 1:So, that being the case, steve, I actually want to invite you back to have a part two of this. It doesn't have to be next week or the following week, but I definitely want to have a part two of this because there's so much to extract and those of you watching this shit's for free, okay, Just so you know we might have to charge for this. Before we end it off, I just want to ask is there anything that you'd like to tell? Because we've got homebuyers listening, we've got realtors listening, we've got lenders, brokers mostly real estate professionals and those that are looking for tips and tricks and anything that they can soak up out of this when it comes to real estate and finance.
Speaker 2:Sure, I will share a relevant conversation about that. That's in alignment with false news, horrific and egregious media manipulation around this NAR lawsuit and such. So, mark, if I was at your house to sell your house, here's what I would say. I'd say hey, mark, just ask you a question, because it's really important to me to know that my clients understand things explicitly. Are you crystal clear on exactly how compensation works in a real estate transaction? Now, the average person would say what? No, would you mind if I take a moment to explain it, please do?
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm the one cutting the check, so tell me what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:So, uh, never in the history of my 26 years of real estate has my seller ever paid a buyer's agent. Okay, my fee is whatever percent that I charge to conduct a successful closing and sale of your home. Okay, now I have one intention when I put the sign in the yard tonight that through my aggressive prospecting, marketing, networking and social media influence, I intend to procure the buyer for your home and to orchestrate the entire transaction myself, for a couple of reasons. Number one I get to work with a competent professional me, okay. Number two, and what I mean by that, is, there's an 87% failure rate in our business in the first five years. So there's a 90% chance that I'm going to be working with somebody if they come to the table first. That may take a lot of extra challenges and stress that comes with that. So my intention is to procure the buyer and that's what I charge to do it. Okay, my challenge is in San Antonio there's about 10,000 people who are working with buyers besides me and they may come first and make you an offer that you accept. If you do accept an offer from somebody else that I didn't procure, that agent is going to take half my workload, half my liability, half my time and half of my paperwork off of my plate, so that when we come to a successful closing and I earned a fee that I intended to earn all of as a professional sign of respect, I'm going to split my compensation with them, kind of like when Tom Sawyer's mom said Tom, paint the fence, it's going to take you four hours.
Speaker 2:Tom says cool, huckleberry Finn shows up, says let's go fishing. He says dude, it's going to take me four hours to paint my fence. He goes man, give me a brush, we'll be done in two. They then paint the fence in two. Tom's mom gives him a hundred dollars and Tom gives Huck 50. Now, tom's mom didn't give Huck anything. She had no agreement, she didn't even know him. Maybe right. But Tom said hey, the right thing to do was you. Cut my workload in half. That's what I do, so you're never gonna pay the commission of the buyer's agent.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:So that's the conversation we're coaching our clients to be able to articulate so that sellers have an understanding. It's sem and understanding its semantics, and what's being put out there and what's being proposed is just there's a lot of it that's not true at all, absolutely, and I agree with all of that.
Speaker 1:I don't think I have heard a better articulated way of presenting that in the situation that people are being realtors, are being faced to have to present. Now, mind you, this is something they should have been presenting the entire time. To be honest, texas is one of those states that we've had the buyer's rep agreement, we've had the expectations in there. So I think we're a bit ahead on that and all the fear that's coming out is just, hey, it's business as usual. There was a video that I saw a while back where back back to the Huckleberry Finn concept is if you find somebody dumb enough, they'll do it for less. So the kid they say, hey, cut the grass, I'll give you $10. Okay, great. He gets his brother and says, hey, I'll give you $5 to cut the grass $3.
Speaker 2:That literally happened in my home and I told that story about three weeks ago. I was so mad and proud at the same time. It was terrible, brother. Yeah, that's exactly what happens, but I think that that's important and I think, sadly, realtors have just gone. Well, don't worry about nothing, the seller pays me, and that's just creepy. That's like Jeff Bezos getting a divorce and his wife's attorney going oh, you don't have to pay me. And his wife's attorney going oh, you don't have to pay me. Jeff's paying me. Whoa right.
Speaker 2:It's different right and realtors don't think that buyers are going to be like a little weirded out by that, but it's just not true. They negotiate with the broker who's selling the house and then that broker splits the fees. Absolutely, the seller doesn't pay.
Speaker 1:Well, Steve, I want to thank you for sharing all this information with us. Man, you, you a lot of similarities and a lot of things that I absolutely can learn from, and I'm honored to have you in here. Thank you, brother, it's a blessing to be here. Hopefully we can have you back so we can have a part two Anytime, man, I love it. Well, ladies and gentlemen out there listening, if you didn't get something from this, turn the shit up or play it back. Uh, you, you maybe do it without all the distractions, to be honest, Uh, but uh, that being the case, hopefully we'll be able to have a part two of this where we can get a little deeper into this. Now, if you are looking for any type of coaching service leveling up your business, uh, JC, if you can throw that uh reference on the screen real quick, Right here, this is going to be voice of one where you can find Steve Collins, you can see testimonials, you can see the services that they offer there. By all means, he comes highly recommended by many top professionals in our industry. That being the case, guys, we will catch you on the next one.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Key Factors Podcast, where knowledge meets ambition in the fast-paced world of real estate and mortgage. I'm your host, Mark Jones, bringing you the latest insight, trends and expert advice to navigate this dynamic property market. In each episode, we dive deep into the heart of the industry, dissecting market movement, exploring investment strategies and unlocking the secret to real estate success. Whether you're a seasoned professional, an aspiring investor or simply looking to stay ahead of the curve, this is the ultimate guide to making informed decisions in the world of property and real estate. So grab a seat and let's uncover the key factors that make all the difference. Welcome to Key Factors Podcast. Let the journey begin.